


it's the spirit of the thing

by orphan_account



Series: determinate chaos [2]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Banter, Canon-Typical Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Demons, Demons Are Assholes, Dungeon Crawling, Established Relationship, Gratuitous Stupidity, Humor, Innuendo, Lover's Spats, M/M, Minor Devil Summoner References, Minor Original Character(s), Obscure SMT Demon Lore, Partying, Persona series spoilers, Post-Canon, Throwing Established Lore Into the Collective Unconscious, Video Game Mechanics, hopefully the dumbest thing you'll read all year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The first annual Kirijo-Nanjo Bridging The Future Foundation Gala is disaster waiting to happen. So of course Goro ends up working undercover in it. Of course there are demons. Of course everything goes to hell before he can even get a drink in. Of course he gets punched in the face by a god. Of course.OR: Goro Akechi's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Night.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: determinate chaos [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620961
Kudos: 335





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there was, originally, a very long note explaining how all of this happened, but then i realized this was a crack fic and i ain't gotta explain shit
> 
> but i still want to explain, so here's three major points:  
> 1\. the persona universe and the devil summoner universe canonically take place in the same timeline. i will never forget this.  
> 2\. this is about four years after p5. they're all adults, some of them have gotten much needed therapy, and the shadow operatives would have taken over japan if not for the fact that it's required for persona users to be kind of fucked up  
> 3\. this was originally a one-shot, but once it hit over 20K i broke it up so my computer could actually load the document. chapters will be posted as i get them back from my poor beta

The first annual Kirijo-Nanjo Bridging The Future Foundation Gala was a sham.

A good one, granted, but still a sham. Good shams, good cons, good lies were all built on the foundation of a good and completely inoffensive truth. In the case of the Shadow Operatives, that truth was that the organization existed and, like all successful organizations, did Things. These Things were helpful to society and would benefit many people! Several people. ...A few people. But those few people would, hopefully, be able to do Other Things that would impact and benefit more people, and then those people would be able to do More Things for other people, and so forth and so on.

That was about where the foundation of truths ended and the framework of lies began. Of course, neither Mitsuru Kirijo nor Kei Nanjo liked it when it was pointed out that they were lying. They called it diplomacy, which was lying _politely_ and with some meager amount of _civility_ , and if the lies should be exposed, following it all up with gratuitous amounts of backpedalling under the guise of _negotiation_.

Goro had said nothing throughout that meeting and instead daydreamed about all the myriad ways his therapist could put the fear of god in everyone involved if she ever found out what they were asking Goro to do.

Goro had thought about saying no, he really did, as even though he possessed the necessary skills to help with the mission—those skills being lying, being good at lying, being smart enough to lie about the right things at the right time, and being capable enough to take down half a dozen demons set loose upon a mostly unsuspecting crowd should things go horribly wrong—he didn't enjoy putting on the mask of a pleasant, inoffensive young man anymore. 

But then some asshole from Public Safety had expressed his concerns about letting Goro Akechi, criminal and murderer, loose at a fancy gala to look for Dark Summoners. Goro had proceeded to cut him off mid-ramble and say yes to the proposition with a smile so sharp that Kirijo looked half-ready to lecture him about unauthorized weapons in work spaces again.

That was the reason why Goro was standing a respectable distance away from the mass of dancers in the center of the ballroom, watching them sway and undulate like shadows dancing to the madness of the collective unconscious. He sipped from a flute of water, refusing to give in to the temptation of alcohol for the moment, and watched people mill past with a blandly positive and slightly vapid expression on his face.

The ground floor was comprised of the main ballroom, where the majority of people had gathered, and several other rooms connected by a grand hallway. The live music was performed by the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra. Certainly impressive, but Goro wondered whether it was Kirijo or Nanjo that must have hated classical music enough to invite an orchestra to play at an event where there were suspicions of Devil Summoners planning to sabotage things. 

The second floor had an open floor layout, and much of it existed as a glorified interior balcony. Kirijo and Nanjo were both up there, schmoozing with politicians and CEOs. The thought of it made Goro feel nauseated, so he kept his attention on the ground floor, scoping out the environment and keeping his eyes peeled for suspicious behavior. 

There was, unfortunately, no suspicious behavior beyond the sort that came with gathering a large number of powerful people too weak to understand how to use that power. As a result, Goro was left to network with people whom he had very little in common. There were politicians that reminded him too much of Shido, CEOs who spoke about everything and everyone like they were investments, and extremely dull businessmen who didn't know when to shut up and required far too much effort to manipulate into getting a drink and getting the hell away from Goro.

He was seething a bit by the time he got away from the last one. 

Of course, no matter how badly the night was treating him, he was still doing better than Naoto Shirogane. Said detective was walking stiffly towards him, shoulders hunched up to their chin and openly grimacing.

"Akechi-kun," Shirogane said, nodding at him politely with a flute of champagne clutched so tightly in their hands that Goro was surprised it hadn't shattered yet. "How has the evening been treating you so far?"

"Quite well," Goro said in response, clamping down on the initial instinctive retort of, _'Treating me better than you.'_ "Granted, I've been avoiding the crowd," Goro quickly added, giving Shirogane a bland grin as he tilted his head towards the dancing mass of people. "I don't envy our companions who have to be there right now."

Shirogane shook their head before casting their gaze out over the dancers. "Some of them don't mind. I'm certain that both Rise and Kirishima-san are enjoying themselves, although hopefully not too much."

"Mmmhmm," Goro said. "Well, even without dancing, there are no shortages of people to speak to. Have you run into anyone of particular notice, Shirogane-san?"

Shirogane's grip on the flute relaxed a bit and their jaw unclenched. "There are many interesting people here, but most of them are exactly who and what I was expecting."

"So," Goro quipped, "disappointing?"

Shirogane sighed deeply. "Not at all, Akechi-kun," they said flatly. "I merely do not have the same interests as they do, so sometimes conversations can become rather difficult to maintain and navigate."

"Oh? I find them quite easy, so long as you have no investment in what they're saying."

"I'm afraid that I've never been very good at not listening," Shirogane said dryly. With a pointed look at Goro, they added, "It's not a good habit for a detective to form."

Goro's smile held an edge, and it was the most honest one he'd given all night long. "Good thing I'm not a detective, then."

Before anything else could be said, Rise Kujikawa sauntered up to them both, grabbing Shirogane's arm as soon as they were within reach.

"Oh my god," Kujikawa said without preamble, "if I have to listen to Kenji Hayashi, Founder of Hayashi Electronics, talk about the Hayashi Principles of Electronic Design and the Hayashi Standards of Modern Living for one more second, I'm gonna scream." She pouted at Shirogane and then grabbed their flute of champagne. "Naoto, Senpai sacrificed himself to Hayashi for me, but now I can't talk to him as a palate cleanser. Please tell me you two have something good."

"Unfortunately, no," Shirogane said, watching Kujikawa down the champagne with a resigned look on their face. "Akechi-kun?"

"Nothing," Goro said, keeping his expression as calm as possible. "Although I can commiserate with you, Kujikawa-san, about Hayashi's tendency to ramble. I would not be sad if he choked on his drink and died."

Shirogane gave him an alarmed look, but Kujikawa raised the nearly empty flute at him. "Hear, hear. Well, I mean, not the dying part, but a little tiny bit of choking would be okay. Did you guys know he's a lightweight? He was sipping at the same drink during our entire conversation, and he didn't even finish it before he started slurring his words together and repeating himself." She twisted backwards, holding on to Shirogane's arm with one hand and the remains of Shirogane's champagne with the other. "I'm going to have to go back in there and rescue Senpai from him, won't I?"

Shirogane carefully turned Kujikawa around to face the front. "I think Yu is more than capable of fending for himself."

"You haven't met Hayashi, though," Kujikawa whined. "He's more of a bulldozer in a conversation than Nanjo-san! Hey, maybe we can just keep getting him drinks until he passes out?"

"Rise!" Shirogane scolded, and Goro took the opportunity to tune out of the conversation.

There were nine Shadow Operatives acting as guests inside the gala, and more working outside of it. Fuuka Yamagishi and Junpei Iori were inside a room on the closed off third floor, Yamagishi scanning for anything suspicious and Iori acting as her guard. Akihiko Sanada, Chie Satonaka, and Katsuya Suou were acting as part of the security detail outside the building and in the hallways. Eriko Kirishima and Yu Narukami were both most likely near or among the throng of dancers. Kirijo and Nanjo were upstairs, speaking to various guests of honor. Haru Okumura was...somewhere. Shirogane and Kujikawa were having a heated discussion right next to him.

That left only one other person of their merry crew, and for Goro's own peace of mind, he refused to think about him any more than that.

His musings were interrupted by Kujikawa addressing him. 

"Hey, Akechi-kun, do you want to help us get Hayashi super drunk?"

He blinked and gave her a plastic smile. "Only if we're doing so by shoving an entire wine bottle bottom first down his throat."

"Oh," Kujikawa said. "We're not going to be doing that." She shrugged and leaned against Shirogane. "Naoto, I'm afraid you're going to have to be my escort."

Shirogane sighed again. "I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?"

"Nope," Kujikawa said. "Gimme a second to put my idol face back on, and then we'll be off, okay?" She froze for a moment, then her face took on a generic, plastic expression topped off with a non-offensive smile. "How's that," she asked Goro.

Goro gave it a look over. "Not too bad," he said, "but your eyes give you away. You're too sincere."

"Aww, you're so sweet," Kujikawa cooed, mouth barely moving. She closed her eyes briefly, and when they opened again, they were unfocused but not blank—a near imitation of a plastic doll's eyes rather than a human's. Goro was jealous. "Okay, I think I'm ready. Let's go, Naoto."

With one last loud sigh of defeat, Shirogane got dragged off by Kujikawa. Goro watched them disappear into the crowd, then finished off his water. It was time to have a drink before his ability to create a sincerely bootlegged smile of interest was lost to the agonizing throes of continued sobriety. 

So of course he got hit on the moment he sat down at the open bar.

The real secret to keeping events filled with rich, pompous people from turning into a bloodbath was to do whatever it took to maintain whatever imagined status quo each person attending believed was in place. After all, the majority of the guests all thought they were better than everyone else in the building. Mathematically speaking, that was impossible. Practically speaking, that was very possible, but only if everyone was too stupid to realize otherwise.

That was why the gala had an open bar. That was also why drinking was such an important social activity, and one that Goro preferred to delay as long as possible. The downside with delaying it, however, was that the bar was mostly full. That left Goro to sit next to an utterly pathetic bastard who thought it was a good idea to slide sideways on his seat until he was nearly off it, encroaching on Goro's personal space with just enough room to not be scandalously inappropriate.

"Hello there," he purred before Goro could even flag down a bartender. "I haven't seen you around here before. You must be new. I've been to several of Kirijo and Nanjo's parties, and I know I would've remembered a gorgeous face like yours."

The bartender asked for Goro's order as the man next to him finished. Goro resisted asking the bartender to hit the stranger over the head with the fire extinguisher the Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare required them to keep behind the bar. Instead, he took his time perusing the menu, ordered a lychee cocktail, then meticulously set down a napkin in front of him before turning to the man.

The man had not moved throughout any of that, somehow managing to remain balanced on the edge of his seat while he leaned in too close to Goro. Goro wished dearly for someone to come and nudge the bastard just enough to shove him off the chair, but when that didn't happen, Goro made his expression as cold as it could be without it being outright rude.

"I'm sorry," he said, turning to the man-shaped slime mold next to him. "Were you speaking to me?"

The man didn't seem fazed, but Goro suspected it was due to him being too self-absorbed to notice Goro's demeanor. "Susumu Hayashi," he said, extending a hand far too close to Goro for him to shake. "I'm a friend of Kirijo."

Hayashi. Hayashi. There must be plenty of people who had the surname Hayashi, Goro thought. There was no way—

"And," Susumu Hayashi continued, "I'm the son of Kenji Hayashi, founder of Hayashi Electronics. You've heard of us, yes?"

Fuck.

"Your father is adept at making himself known," Goro said, eyes crinkling into crescents as he smiled and did not shake Hayashi's hand. Hopefully Hayashi wouldn't be able to see the despair in them that way. "I had no idea he knew how to have a child. That's shocking."

The insult hit Hayashi on the head and then bounced off his helmet of self-conceit. Amazing how vanity and pomposity could warp reality like that. 

"Well, if you didn't know, then maybe you want to spend some time getting familiar with the best kept secret of Hayashi Electronics?" Hayashi asked. He gave Goro what was probably supposed to be a cheeky wink, but he ended up looking like he had facial tic. Goro felt his blood curdle.

"No, thank you," Goro said flatly, still maintaining the smile. "I dislike secrets."

With that, he turned back to the bar and dropped the smile. Sadly, the signal that the conversation was over also bounced off Hayashi and landed somewhere on the floor. It promptly got stepped on when Hayashi slid off his seat and sidled right next to Goro, bracing an elbow on the bar counter and taking a stance that made him look like he was trying to hide the fact that he needed to pee.

"I can be an open book if that's what you want," Hayashi said. Goro focused on keeping his hands open and still on the bar counter lest he give in to the urge to punch Hayashi in the face. "I'm flexible," he continued, lowering his pitch, "both literally and metaphorically." 

Goro desperately wanted his drink in his hands, if only for something that he could use to stab Hayashi to death with. Alas, without it, he had to settle for turning his head ever so slightly and glaring at Hayashi out of the corner of his eye. 

"I'm not interested," he said, taking care to enunciate and lace every word with as much disdain as he had despite the neutral expression he took. "Leave."

Hayashi ignored him. "Come on," he whispered. "You're a newbie at these kind of events, aren't you? I can show you all the ropes that you'll need to survive—"

Goro was going to take someone's drink stirrer and use it to carve out Hayashi's eyes. He turned, using the last reserves of his sober patience to do so calmly, looked Hayashi dead in the eyes, and then let his mask slip.

"Back off," he growled, pulling his lips back and letting his teeth show. "I'm not interested in you."

Hayashi paused, but even that wasn't enough to deter him. "Hey, calm down. I'm not trying to be patronizing, but you really should know your place—"

Goro had never killed a man with a cocktail napkin before, but there was a first time for everything.

Unfortunately for him, before Goro could find a way to improvise a successful murder weapon with nothing but his bare hands and a napkin, someone walked up behind him, clapped him on the shoulder, and then leaned over to set a drink down on the napkin.

"Picked up your drink, honey," Ren Amamiya said cheerfully, and Goro felt all of his anger leave his body, along with all of the breath in his lungs and what felt like his soul. "I kind of forgot to get one for myself, though, so do you mind sharing?" He leaned forward and made a big show of noticing Hayashi. Goro barely noticed it, with how much Ren had to press up against his back in order to do so. "Hey, are you using that seat? I'm going to sit there if you're not."

Hayashi gave Ren a condescending look, which Goro would have found amusing if that didn't require admitting Hayashi did something worth acknowledging. "I'm still sitting there."

Ren gave Hayashi a blank look, then gestured at him, thankfully taking his hand off of Goro's shoulder in the process. Goro inhaled. "Actually, you're standing. Thanks for the seat."

With the grace and agility of, well, a thief, Ren quickly stepped around both Hayashi and Goro to take Hayashi's seat. Hayashi, in the process, had to step away from the bar to avoid being uncomfortably sandwiched in between the two, and he stumbled slightly as he leapt back. When he balanced himself again, he glared at Ren, Goro seemingly forgotten. 

Goro had to hand it to Ren; the upper class were incapable of noticing when they were wrong, but they were extremely skilled at noticing when they were _wronged_. And Ren, having done the unforgivable act of stealing Hayashi's seat, was very noticed.

The smart thing to do was to leave. Unfortunately, Goro found himself flush with emotions once he saw Ren sitting next to him. Emotions made Goro stupid; it didn't matter that most of the emotions he felt were akin to disgust.

Ren sat with his back turned to the bar, and he smirked at Hayashi with a raw, unrelentless confidence that was all Joker. His outfit, sadly, was only Joker-adjacent. Rather than wear proper formal wear like every other sane person in the gala, Ren somehow managed to put together an outlandish ensemble that almost, somewhat, maybe-if-you-squinted-the-right-way resembled the outfit he wore in the Metaverse. It wasn't exactly the same, thank goodness, but he wore a gray wool waistcoat with black dress pants, and over that had a ridiculously long coat that was better suited for a convention hall than a formal gala. His shoes, thankfully, weren't the pointed abominations he wore as Joker, but they were bright red. Just like his gloves.

None of the textiles used in the construction of his outfit were the same. The black of his pants and the black of his long coat weren't even the same shade. Goro was getting second-hand embarrassment sitting next to him.

"I said I was sitting there," Hayashi said, sneering at Ren. "Do you know who I am?"

"I don't," Ren said, completely blasé, and then the fucker reached over and grabbed Goro's drink. "Are you important enough to be worth knowing?"

"I am," Hayashi began, puffing his chest like some kind of wild bird trying to make itself look impressive, "Susumu Hayashi."

Ren took a sip of Goro's drink. Goro tried to set Ren's hair on fire with the power of his mind. It didn't work. "So?"

Hayashi was turning red with rage, which somehow did the impossible task of making him look even more unattractive. "I am the son," he boomed, "of Kenji Hayashi, Founder of Hayashi—"

"Founder of Hayashi Electronics and the creator of the Hayashi Principles of Electronic Design and the Hayashi Standards of Modern Living," Ren intoned, lifting up Goro's drink in a mocking salute. "Yes, I've spoken with him—" Here, Goro felt a sudden surge of anger rise up because, yes, Ren certainly did _speak to him_. "—but I mostly know of him because he seemed to be getting very drunk and very loud when I left the dance floor behind."

Hayashi faltered and deflated. "Drunk? Nonsense. My father does not drink—"

"Are you sure?" Ren asked, leaning to the side. He peered around Hayashi and towards the dancing crowd. "Because when I passed him earlier, he certainly wasn't turning down the massive amounts of liquor some model or whoever was giving him."

Kujikawa. The madwoman did it. Goro didn't know whether he wanted to curse her or bless her name.

"That's impossible," Hayashi said. At the same moment, almost as if someone had planned it, a shrill shriek rose above the background chatter of the gala.

"Oh my god," came the voice of Kujikawa's surprisingly good acting. "Hayashi-san? Hayashi-san! How did he pass out?"

Susumu Hayashi's face went pale. Without another word or glance at either Goro or Ren, he ran off towards the crowd of dancers. Said crowd had ceased dancing and was, from what Goro could tell, congregating around a single point.

The timing was too perfect. Goro turned to Ren, ready to tell him off, but the open-mouthed expression on his face stopped him.

"You didn't plan this."

"No," Ren said slowly, then took another sip of Goro's drink. "But I'm not going to complain. You think he's all right?"

Goro rolled his eyes and briefly considered stealing his drink back. "Kujikawa planned to get him drunk enough to pass out. Whatever happens to him is her business, not mine."

Ren gave him a look that Goro decided wasn't worth paying attention to. "You're in a bad mood," he stated. "What did Hayashi's son do before I got here?"

Goro gave him a fake smile but let the murder in his eyes shine through. "Oh," he said cheerfully, "now you're showing concern about me speaking to a Hayashi?"

Ren froze, Goro's drink raised halfway to his mouth. "Wait," he said, lowering the glass, "are you mad about—"

"Excuse me," Goro said coldly, then rose. "I believe we both have work to do."

He walked away, pace somewhere between a power walk and a sprint. He managed for about fifteen seconds before Ren caught up with him, drink still in hand. It was expected, but no less annoying.

"You're still mad."

"Amazing skills of observation," Goro said, voice so cheerful and sweet that it could have given Kujikawa a run for her money. "Too bad your fashion sense isn't as keen."

Ren stared at him blankly as they power walked through the crowds, somehow managing to avoid running into anyone or anything despite not taking his eyes off Goro. "What's wrong with my fashion sense?"

"Your clothes are disgusting," Goro spat. "They're flashy and they don't match."

"They're based on my thief clothes. It's stylish."

"People remember style," Goro hissed. "We're supposed to be inconspicuous."

Ren smirked and took another, longer sip of Goro's drink. Goro was overcome with a sudden, violent fantasy of slapping the bottom of the glass towards Ren's face as he drank. 

"You're one to talk about being inconspicuous," Ren said once he downed half of the cocktail. "I'm not the one getting hit on because I spent my youth being a famous pretty boy detective who can't turn off his fake charisma."

Goro stopped and Ren nearly stumbled, not expecting the change in speed. The glass was too low on drink for any of it to spill on his clothes, although it did slosh around temptingly.

With the fakest, broadest smile Goro could conjure up, he looked Ren in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry that your appearance is so revolting that the only way you can ever hope to have anyone notice you is with your outlandish outfits and cocky attitude. Perhaps if you weren't so ugly," he continued as Ren scowled at him, "you would be able to attract people's attention without relying on melodrama and theatrics." 

Ren's scowl didn't fade as he swirled the glass gently, turning the remnants of the drink into a whirlpool. "Okay. Can we at least talk about what happened, or are we just going to snipe insults at each other all night?"

Goro beamed sweetly at him, the corners of his mouth uplifted and dripping with poison. "I'll talk to you when you have something important to say."

He continued walking, heading towards the ballroom's exit and pushing past whoever got in his way. By the time he left the ballroom and entered the hallway, there weren't many people left to push. Only a few security guards, none of them members of the Shadow Operatives, were standing around, and Goro walked past all of them, looking for a quiet place where he could sulk in peace.

It didn't take very long for Ren to catch up to him, still holding onto the dregs of Goro's drink. 

"Not talking about it won't fix anything," he began without preamble. 

Goro almost kicked him. "I don't want to talk to you."

Ren sighed. "I didn't mean to not tell you that I was joining the mission. I really wasn't planning on coming until tonight."

"That isn't the only thing I'm mad at you about." Goro kept walking. The hallways felt like they went on forever, and the posted guards appeared less frequently. 

Ren was silent for a beat. "Is this about Hayashi? Okay, I could have handled that better, but you looked like you were about to murder him with a napkin, so I—"

"Wrong," Goro hissed through his teeth. There weren't any guards to be seen anymore, and the hallway they were walking down seemingly had no end. "Hayashi."

"You're mad about Kenji Hayashi? He likes to talk, but he wasn't that bad, was he?"

Goro let out a bark of a laugh and stopped, spinning on his heels to stare down at Ren. "Not only did I learn from him that you were present at all, but I also learned that you were the one who name dropped me as someone interested in his business policies." He stepped closer to Ren when the latter opened his mouth. "I had to listen to that blowhard talk about his idiotic design principles for forty minutes, and I could barely get a word in. Do you know how much effort it took for me to even find an opportunity to say anything to him? Do you know how long it took me to finally be able to manipulate him into getting a drink and leaving me the hell alone?" Another step, and they were practically chest to chest. "An hour and a half, _honey_ , and you didn't even have the courtesy of saving me from him."

Ren looked guilty at that. "Ah. That bad."

"I told Kujikawa and Shirogane I wanted to shove a bottle of wine down his throat and watch him choke and die."

"Oh."

"And now if you'll excuse me," Goro continued, "I'm going to find a quiet place to stew in my anger for a bit before I'm ready to talk to you about it."

At that proclamation, three things happened all at once.

First, the orchestra, which had been a faint background accompaniment throughout this whole ordeal, suddenly swelled up in both volume and pitch. A singularity of noise and terror pierced through the relative silence of the hallway, and then it faded into the background.

Second, the power went out. The lights were the most noticeable feature, but the white noise of electricity powering everything in the building also fell silent, further punctuating the cacophony of the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra's panic.

Third, Goro and Ren, who had been practically chest to chest, suddenly began to drift apart. There was no light, but Goro could sense it happening as Ren's body heat grew fainter. Then, like a scene from his nightmares, Goro could feel the push-pull of their Personas flare to full strength before rapidly growing fainter, as if some supernatural force was driving the two of them apart.

Goro broke out into a run.

A second of darkness passed before he realized he could see again. The walls were pulsating with a sickly green light, and in the distance, he could see Ren's faint silhouette spring into motion and hear the shattering of the glass that once held the drink. Goro pushed his body to move as quickly as it could, but the distance between them only increased. The distance stretched out between them, floors the color of nightmares, and the yawning abyss between them grew. The orchestra, so faint now, let out one final, discordant note and fell silent.

The ground shook beneath his feet, and the walls began to retreat from him. New ones took their place, strange monoliths of swirling, alien colors and veiny protrusions that twisted like mockeries of organic systems. Bits of matter clung to the monolith faces, emitting a low phosphorescent glow like luminous moss, but the texture was wrong. The globules were flesh like; they squished when the vibrations knocked them down, making meaty thumps when they hit the still expanding ground.

He could barely see Ren now. No matter how fast he ran, it felt like he was running in the ocean. His legs met resistance. It was not just air they were working against. He needed more strength. More power.

He cried out, voice raw and guttural. The summon ripped from his throat like a knife pulled from a wound:

"Loki!"

In an instant, he felt a surge of power from his Persona, and he felt his stiff, fastidious dress suit melt away and change. The body suit gave him his full range of motion. The familiar straps were a comforting pressure against his legs. The mask enclosing his face was protection from the fluctuations of space, and he could finally, properly see!

In the distance, he saw Ren's figure flare with power, and the wings of rebellion spread from his back. They ran towards each other as the distance between them grew. It was only with their Personas that they could outpace it.

More walls sprang from the ground. Some behind him, dangerously close, some from his sides. Goro avoided them all, dodging them and pressing on towards Ren. He was filled with grit, determination, and fear of being separated in whatever hellscape they were trapped in. 

The world shook. Walls closed in. Space itself tried to tear them apart. But they were stronger! Faster! Goro could make out the details of Ren's outfit. He could see his face. His expression. They were almost close enough to touch.

And then, as suddenly as it started, the expansion of space stopped, and the two crashed into each other.

"Woah, slow down—"

"MotherFUCKER—"

They went down in a tangle of limbs and pain.

"Everyone, status report," Mitsuru Kirijo shouted directly into their brains.

"Fuck," hissed Goro.

"Your helmet horns are stabbing me in the neck," said Ren.

"Someone's created a spirit labyrinth throughout the entire first floor of the building," Yamagishi said. "I can see the presence of many demons, but I can't trace where the Summoner is or who it might be. Space-time is heavily distorted."

"Yeah, I think everyone noticed," Kujikawa said. "The ballroom's a maze! There's people scattered everywhere, and they're panicking. No demons here, thankfully, but I can't get a good reading of anything outside the room. Naoto's with me, and they're keeping an eye on the people with us."

"Kirishima-san and I are with several people as well," Narukami said. "We think it's best if we helped round them up into a safe area within the maze. Just because there aren't any demons in the ballroom now doesn't mean they won't be there later."

"I'm watching over several groups of people," Okumura said, "and we're all doing well. Ren, Akechi-kun, are the two of you all right? You sounded like you were in distress."

Goro groaned as he and Ren tried to untangle themselves without Goro puncturing Ren in the jugular.

"We're fine," Ren grumbled. "We were in the hallway outside the ballroom. It's also turned into a maze, and we crashed into each other while the distortions were happening— Goro, my arm can't bend that way."

"I can't stand up if you don't get your arms off my legs," Goro responded, then tried to slide them out from underneath Ren's arm. He ended up kicking him in the process, and Goro found that he didn't feel all that bad about it.

"Right. Well," Nanjo said, "the second floor has not been distorted. Watching the ballroom twist like that wasn't an experience I'm keen on repeating, however. We're all present and accounted for inside; how are those outside doing?"

"Fuuka and I are fine," said Iori. "Any demons that try to get to us, I'll take care of."

"Satonaka and I are guarding the main entrance outside," Suou said. "We can't seem to open the doors."

"Might be for the best," Satonaka said, and Goro heard something that sounded like someone kicking the door. "I don't think we should let any more people inside. As for Akihiko-san, uh..."

"I'm inside," Sanada said. "By the way, you can punch through the walls, but they'll patch themselves up so fast that it's functionally useless."

Goro heard Kirijo heave a weary sigh. "Akihiko, don't tell me you forced your way in. You're supposed to be on outside guard duty."

"I had to use the bathroom," Sanada said, completely nonplussed. "Plumbing's still working, by the way. Just...be careful about demons in the toilets."

"Oh, wow," said Kujikawa. 

"A-at any rate," Shirogane said, "let's focus on gathering the people inside the ballroom together in a safe place. Although, it is incredibly dark. Some light from the second floor is making it here, but it still isn't enough to see by."

"I can summon Michael and light up the entire room in an instant," Kirishima said.

Nanjo made a distressed sound. "In front of all of the guests?"

"Yes. You did get that hologram projector like I asked you to, didn't you?"

"Of course I didn't. It's impossible for people to believe that demons and Personas are the result of a malfunctioning hologram projector."

"That it is impossible is precisely why it's believable."

"You can't summon Michael and use him as a light source, Eriko, and that's final."

"We can pretend that there was a holo—"

"No."

"Sorry to cut in," Narukami said sheepishly, "but our phones aren't working at all, so Kirishima-san's idea might be the best one. It's too dark to see, and letting people use the walls to guide them won't be a good idea."

"What's wrong with the walls?" Nanjo asked.

"They're made of meat," Narukami said.

"Whaaaat?!" Satonaka cried. Goro and Ren had both managed to detangle themselves and stand up by this point, but her shout nearly made them fall over again.

"Don't say it like that, Senpai," Kujikawa shouted. "They're not made of meat. They're just gross and fleshy in places."

Goro watched as Ren immediately put one of his hands on a wall, slapping it against one of the pustule-like growths. His face contorted in disgust, and Goro laughed at him.

"That is extremely unpleasant," said Kirishima.

"It's disturbing," said Shirogane.

"They're kind of fun to poke," said Okumura.

"As you can see," Narukami began, then stopped. The sound of someone screaming came through the connection, tinny and filtered.

"Is everything all right?" Kirijo asked, and Goro heard Narukami sigh.

"One of the guests touched a wall, which led to other people touching the wall. They're all touching the wall and screaming now."

"In light of a flesh wall of unknown origin and material," Kirishima said cheerfully, "I doubt anyone would be any more disturbed by the appearance of an archangel."

"No," Nanjo said again, and that was apparently the straw that broke Kirijo's back.

"Enough! We are wasting valuable time having this pointless conversation. Yamagishi, keep the communication lines open for everyone. Iori, continue guarding her. Kujikawa, help those in the ballroom navigate through the labyrinth. I will be assisting you in this. Narukami, Kirishima, Shirogane, and Okumura, please lead people to the south side of the ballroom, where the open bar is; that area has been relatively unimpacted by the spirit labyrinth. Suou and Satonaka, remain at your posts. Akechi and Amamiya, explore the labyrinth outside the ballroom and rescue anyone you come across. Akihiko, do the same, but stay out of trouble."

"Why am I getting singled out like this," Sanada said, but Kirijo spoke over him.

"Nanjo and I will try to keep things as calm as possible upstairs. Everyone, you have your orders. Move!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raised the rating because mara :U

At Mitsuru's command, Goro and Ren surveyed their current location. Serendipitously enough, the conjured walls of the spirit labyrinth had left them at a dead end, which meant there was only one direction they could go. With the choice made for them, the two exchanged quick glances before setting off. The corridors of the labyrinth were wide enough for them to walk side-by-side and still maintain a polite level of distance between each other. Ren— _Joker_ —had put his hand on the wall again, feeling it as they walked.

"Narukami-san," he said after a few steps, "the meat on the walls aren't glowing?"

"No," Narukami said. "I take it they're providing you guys with light out there?"

"A little," Joker replied, and he took his hand off the wall and wiped it on the side of his coat. "Enough to see where we're going, but not much more than that. The meat lights pulsate, so it isn't consistent light we're getting either."

"Maybe we ought to find a better word to use than 'meat'," Okumura said. "The mental image it's conjuring is strange."

"Yeah, please," Satonaka said. "When you guys talk about meat, it makes me think of steak and burgers and not whatever demon weirdness is actually there."

Narukami hummed. "Steak, huh? Do you think whatever these are made of is actually meat, or something else?"

"Please don't eat the meat," Kujikawa said at the same time Satonaka shouted Narukami's name in warning.

Shirogane sighed. "Kirishima-san, could you please make sure he doesn't try sampling the walls?"

"I would be happy to keep an eye on him," she said over Narukami's protests, "if I could see him properly."

"No," Nanjo said.

"No one can see, Kei. This is disadvantageous to everyone, and we can't rely solely on the navigators to warn us of an ambush when there is so much for them to do already."

"A light would be beneficial," Okumura agreed. "It's rather difficult to make sure everyone is accounted for when I don't know who everyone is or how many are with me."

"I also agree with Kirishima-san," Shirogane said. "We can deal with the aftermath of having her Persona seen, but we will not be able to recover should we get attacked."

Nanjo's sigh made the kind of sound that Goro had only previously heard from sad, despondent dogs. "Fine. But you'll be the one to come up with a good explanation for things, Eriko."

"Leave it to me," Kirishima said. "Now, Michael! I summon thee!"

Silence fell upon the open communication line. Then, screaming.

"What's happening," Suou said. "Eriko-san, did something go wrong?"

"Oh, dear," said Kirishima.

"Nice, we can see," said Narukami.

"Uh," said Kujikawa, "people are kind of panicking about the giant angel with a flaming spear floating above their heads."

"Divine retribution," came the tinny voice of one of the many people screaming. "I knew you were a good for nothing heretic, Yukimura!"

"I told you," Nanjo said. "There was a reason why I didn't want you to summon a Persona!"

"We didn't even last a minute before descending into chaos again," Kirijo said, sounding resigned. "Yamagishi, can you cut the open communication?"

"O-of course! But are you sure?"

Kirijo's tone was dry. "I doubt the chaos happening inside the ballroom will be of any help to those outside of it. Kujikawa and I will handle communications inside. No one needs any more distractions."

"I'm not distracted," came Sanada's voice. "I already defeated three demons."

Goro and Joker were absolutely distracted, since they both had stopped walking and were staring at each other with vague looks of amusement and horror as everything had unfolded across the comm lines. He wasn't about to say that to Mitsuru Kirijo, though. 

"Either way, it's probably for the best to allow you to focus on your own tasks. Yamagishi, I'll contact you if I need your assistance."

"Okay," Yamagishi replied over the faint yells about god's judgement in the background. "Cutting off lines now."

The silence that fell over them was a sweet blessing. 

"I can actually scan the area a bit better now," Yamagishi said. "Um... Akihiko-san, it looks like you're in a completely different part of the labyrinth. I can't tell if there's a way for you to meet with Amamiya-kun and Akechi-kun."

"We can take care of ourselves," Goro said. 

"So can I," said Sanada. "Which way should we go?"

"The middle of the labyrinth is unreadable; there's an abnormally strong presence there that's shadowing everything else. There are also powerful demons wandering the area close to the middle. I can guide you both in turns as best as I can, but my attention will be split."

"No need," said Joker. Goro glanced at him. Joker had a hand pressed up to his mask, and his eyes were glowing faintly behind them. "I can see where to go. It's faint, but there's a trail leading us somewhere." He smirked. "I can see the unseeable." 

"Wildcards get all the best abilities, huh," Sanada said. "All right, Fuuka. Looks like it's you and me for now."

"Okay. Akechi-kun, Amamiya-kun, call out if you need my assistance."

"Will do," Joker said, then began walking down the corridor, eyes glowing. Goro followed behind him, keeping a lookout for any potential threats while Joker followed the trail. They walked in relative silence, Yamagishi cutting down the volume of the communication link to a near silence, and Goro placed his trust in Joker to lead them to where they needed to go.

Then they turned a corner and were met with a cloud of demons floating in the air.

"Hey, hey, look," one of the demons said. It was round, with a purple spiral on its middle and four limbs awkwardly sticking straight out from its pale green body. "Humans!"

"Oooh, Misters," said another demon who looked exactly like the first, "are you lost? Do you wanna know how to get out?"

Joker's eyes stopped glowing. "Ah, Sudama," he said. "I've defeated these as Shadows before."

The gaggle of Sudama all gasped. "He knows us," one of them shrieked.

"He's gonna punish us," said another.

"No, we're good kids! We gotta prove it," said yet another.

Goro felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as one of the demons in the back did a cartwheel in the air and said, "Yeah! Let's kill them!"

"You just had to say something," Goro said as the gaggle of Sudamas flew towards them, bobbing forward with frightening speed. 

"It's been a while," Joker said, pulling out his dagger and slicing the first one that drew close to him in half. "My negotiation's rusty!"

Goro summoned Loki in response, casting Megidolaon to wipe out as many of the Sudamas as he could in one blow. The spell detonated down the hall, scattering light and heat in a violent chain reaction set to the screaming and wailing of the demons. He reveled in it, taking in the desperate shrieks of the demons, the surge of power running through his body, and the sheer destruction he was capable of.

The spell faded, and many of the hoard of Sudamas had fallen. What remained of the demons were clustered at the edge of the spell's range. The Sudamas wobbled and shrieked; it felt much like a toy store after a particularly rambunctious and determined child had gone and set off every animatronic toy in the store at the same time.

"They kicked our butts!"

"I'm scared!"

"We should do that thing! We need to get revenge!"

"Yeah," the group of Sudamas said in unison. "Let's do that thing!"

Goro felt every hair on his body stand up as the Sudamas huddled together and began to merge, their masses joining one another in a backwards mitosis.

"You just had to cast something," Joker said, tone a mirror of the earlier one Goro used on him. Goro made a grunt of annoyance as acknowledgment, then focused on the Sudamas. The mass grew to twice the size of Goro and Joker put together. It squelched and changed shape constantly, each Sudama joining its misshapen, lumpy form with a sound reminiscent of jello being sucked up by a vacuum. It was impossible to see an individual Sudama, and the color of the wretched thing was the same pale green as its components, overlaid with hundreds of purple swirls spinning around in dizzying patterns along the surface.

Goro wanted to attack it, but as soon as he had the thought, the grotesque clump stretched up to the ceiling of the labyrinth and then came crashing down where he and Joker were standing. They both leapt back, shielding their faces with their arms as the impact shattered the floor and sent debris flying their way.

"Misters," the creature said as it retracted, voice still uncomfortably high for something that large, "you're both gonna pay!"

Goro had no intention of paying. Neither, it seemed, did Joker.

"You Debilitate it, and I'll see what hurts it the most," Joker said, his face flickering through several expressions at rapid speed as he went through his stock of Personas.

"Fine," Goro said, letting the bloodlust of battle overtake him. "But don't expect me to hold back after."

"Never, Crow," Joker said, expression settling into a cocky grin. "It's showtime."

The mass of Sudamas screamed angrily when Debilitate hit it, and they screamed even louder when Joker summoned Bishamonten to pummel them with God's Hand. But as it was about to be fisted, the giant wad of Sudamas spread itself out, stretching outward and creating a gaping hole for the fist to slide through. It slid through effortlessly, and the fist crashed into the ground, sending a tremor rippling out from the impact.

Goro grabbed one of the meat pustules on the wall for support as the floor quaked. He winced as Yamagishi turned the volume on their link back up.

"Amamiya-kun! Akechi-kun! Are you two all right?"

"We're just starting," Joker said in reply, smile wide and teeth bared. "Got any idea what it's weakness is?"

"You're sooooo meeeaaaan, Mistersssss," the blob screamed, quivering in place as it gathered itself together. "Nooooo mercy!"

"I can try doing a scan, but Akihiko-san is— Ah, turn left there, Akihiko-san! And then take the third left after that!"

Goro and Joker barely managed to dodge another one of the Sudama mass's attacks when they heard Akihiko repeat Fuuka's instructions over the comm line.

"Sorry, Fuuka," they heard him say, starting to get out of breath from exertion. "If I'd known Thor was going to be chasing me through a maze, I would have brought some attack items with me."

Loki did the equivalent of a twitch inside Goro's soul, and he snarled as he regained his footing, using that irritation to launch another Megidolaon at the twisted lump of demonic flesh attacking them. It connected, and the mass twisted in on itself. The pitch of its voice became so high that it could have been arrested and charged with drug use.

"We're noooooooot gonna take thiiiiiis," it shrieked, and Joker threw out a Freidyne in response. The explosion blew off a chunk of the Sudama goop. It fell to the floor, bounced once with a wet squelch, then lay limp on the ground. The larger mass roared, pitch suddenly dropping, and then it contracted on itself, shrinking down and compressing into a cylinder. The small chunk that got blown away trembled, then flew towards and joined the main entity with a horrible sucking sound. The Brownian motion of the purple swirls stopped, and the entire thing became stone still.

"Be careful," Yamagishi said over the line. "I don't know exactly what it's doing, but it seems to be concentrating its power! I'm trying to get a better read but— Ah, turn right, Akihiko-san! And then run straight down until you hit a dead end, then left again!"

Goro and Joker both guarded as soon as Yamagishi said the thing was gathering power. "Focus on Sanada-san," Joker said, eyes once again glowing behind his mask as he took a defensive stance and stared down the Sudama pillar. "We'll let you know if we need help."

"Are you sure?"

Goro grinned as he braced himself. "Two Wildcards against these weaklings? We'll be finished before Sanada-san can lose Thor."

"Hey," Sanada said.

Fuuka sighed. "All right. But let me know if you need any help!"

"Will do," Joker said, and then the line fell mostly silent again, Yamagishi and Sanada's chatter fading into dim background noise.

Goro counted to two before the pillar shook. It rumbled with a force that shook the walls and floor, and Goro dug his feet in to hold his position. Then, like a bird hatching from an egg but with far more violence and far less amniotic fluid, the pillar cracked. Pieces of the outer shell flew away, landing and shattering on the ground like porcelain, and a giant rock smashed through the pillar from within. It took a repeat occurrence for Goro to realize that the rocks were actually _limbs_ , and then the rest of the demon had started to emerge. 

"I OUYAMATSUMI," it bellowed, kicking itself out from the pillar of what used to be hundreds of Sudama, "I GRIND YOU TO DUST." Then it reached behind itself, grabbed what remained of the pillar, and threw it.

The previous attacks had them already backed up to the corner, and while it was easy for Joker to leap to the side to avoid the attack, the same couldn't be said for Goro. He tried anyway, bracing himself for the inevitable pain, but then Joker yelled out to cast Tetrakarn over him. The reflective shield settled around Goro just in time to bounce back the half-crumbled pillar, and Goro tucked himself into a ball and rolled around the corner as the pillar harmlessly made contact against Ouyamatsumi's body.

"Stop wasting your spells on me," Goro hissed, grabbing Joker's offered hand to help him back on his feet.

"You're welcome," Joker said dryly as he pulled Goro up. "And I don't want to be lectured about spell conservation from the guy who's throwing out Megidolaons left and right."

The reliance on his Personas was an unfortunate side effect of Goro not being allowed to carry weapons. The weapon ban was an unfortunate side effect of being a murderer. Joker being too obtuse to realize this was an unfortunate side effect of Joker being an idiot.

Ouyamatsumi let out a roar and started stomping towards them, walls and floor shaking with each slow, weighted step. Wordlessly, Goro and Joker plastered themselves against the wall, Joker peeking his head out to take a look at the demon lumbering towards them. Joker reared his head back almost immediately. The reason why became apparent when a boulder hurled itself through the space where his head had been. Without Joker's head in the way, it continued sailing through the air until it hit the wall and smashed apart on impact.

"He can rip off parts of his body to throw as projectiles," Joker said. He turned to Goro and smiled. "I'm thinking wind."

Goro returned his smile with added teeth. "Ice."

They waited until Ouyamatsumi took another step before acting. 

"Vishnu," Joker cried, and the four-armed god rose above him and whipped up a howling tempest. Goro watched as the blades of wind surged towards Ouyamatsumi, the gusts so strong that blowback made Goro put his hand on the wall to keep steady, and then do absolutely nothing to the demon.

"Hel," Goro called next, and she emerged from her icy throne. The dying wind grew cold as spears of ice pummeled Ouyamatsumi, doing practically nothing to it as it took another step.

"ME KILL YOU," it roared. "ME CRUSH YOU WHOLE." With that, it ripped off pieces of its midsection and flung them towards the two. Goro barely managed to dodge, aided by Joker pulling him to the side as they leapt for safety. The shattered pieces of debris from the impact of the stones bounced off Goro's mask, and he snarled as he went through his own stock.

"Nuclear," Joker said as they settled back around the corner.

"Curse— Watch out!"

Goro grabbed the back of Joker's head and pushed him down, ducking as Ouyamatsumi's giant boulder fist came around the corner and smashed into the wall they were up against. The rocky hand gripped the corner, and with a mighty heft, Ouyamatsumi pulled itself around, its rough, rectangular face staring down at their prone forms.

From the recesses of its chiseled face, two beady red eyes stared them down. "YOU DIE," it said, and then lifted its two hands.

Instinctively, Goro changed his Persona to Girimehkala and threw himself over Joker as the fists came crashing down. Ouyamatsumi's attempt at flattening them bounced harmlessly off Goro. As Ouyamatsumi's arms ricocheted backwards, causing it to stumble, Goro pulled Joker back and out of the demon's immediate range.

"Not that I don't appreciate it," Joker said as they scrambled away, "but I did switch to Rangda."

"You're welcome," Goro said back at him, then threw out a Mudoon. It did nothing, Ouyamatsumi not even reacting as the curse slithered up its body.

Instead, the demon roared again, lifting its arms once more. But rather than slamming them down, it kept them up and summoned a lightning storm.

Rangda, Goro remembered, was weak to electricity.

"Fuck you!" Goro yelled as he grabbed Joker by the back of his coat and threw him backwards with all his might. He wasn't sure who, exactly, he was yelling it to, but it didn't matter. Nothing really mattered at the moment, except for the jolt of electricity coursing through his body. He screamed, more from frustration than from pain, then fell to one knee as the lightning vanished. 

His body twitched from the remnants of the current, and he gritted his teeth as he tried to seize control of his muscles and stand. 

"Crow!" Joker cried, and then Goro felt the soothing relief of healing magic flow through his body. It did wonders for his pain, but nothing for the shock keeping him from moving. "I'm going to move you."

"Worry about yourself," Goro said through clenched teeth, willing his body to stop spasming to no avail. "And equip a Persona that isn't weak to electricity or physical."

"Love you too," Joker muttered as he scooped Goro up— _Bridal style_ , because Goro hadn't suffered a big enough loss in dignity already—and dodged out of the way as Ouyamatsumi threw another damn boulder at them.

"Amamiya-kun, Akechi-kun," Yamagishi said, comm line flaring to full volume, "are you two okay?!"

"We're fine," Joker said, sounding only slightly manic. "Just rocking out with a demon."

"Put me down so I can punch you," Goro monotoned.

"I've been analyzing it in the background," Yamagishi said. "That thing's weak to pierce damage and guns!"

Goro felt Joker pause. "Guns?" Joker asked incredulously. "The giant rock is weak to _guns_?"

"I'm positive! I'm sorry, but Akihiko-san's in an area with pitfalls and teleporters. I'll check up on you guys again soon! Be careful!"

"Guns," Joker said again once the comm line went quiet. Norn suddenly floated above him, and Goro felt the electric shock vanish from his muscles, allowing him to move. "All right," Joker added as he set Goro down, "easy enough."

Ouyamatsumi grabbed and pulled off one of its arms. It reared back in preparation to throw it, and Goro nearly grabbed Joker's gun to shoot the damn thing himself when Joker stepped forward.

"Mara," he said simply, a cocky expression plastered all over his face, "One-shot Kill." 

The penis chariot—the stupid, smug, melodramatic asshole brought the fucking penis chariot Persona with him to a black-tie formal event and _Goro was going to throw him out a window when this was all over_ —stiffened and then fucking ejaculated a god damned bullet of light that hit Ouyamatsumi right on its stony face.

"What is wrong with you," Goro said as Ouyamatsumi bellowed in pain.

The demon dropped the arm it was holding and fell backwards, the arm still attached to its body clutching its face as it writhed on the ground. Joker walked calmly towards it, gun in hand. Goro followed, feeling filthy for reasons he didn't want to think about.

"ME GOOD DEMON," Ouyamatsumi cried when they drew near. Goro looked down at its sad, collapsed form. The jagged crack across its face that was supposed to be its mouth trembled. "ME JUST FOLLOW ORDER."

Goro looked up at Joker and met his gaze. Joker nodded and turned back to the demon. Goro got on the comm line.

"Yamagishi-san," he said quietly, "Let Kirijo-san and Nanjo-san listen in. We're going to be interrogating a demon."

"Done," she said, and he watched as Joker tightened the grip on his gun as he also heard the confirmation.

"Who were your orders from?" Joker asked, gun pointed at the demon. 

Ouyamatsumi sobbed, which wasn't something that Goro had previously thought possible from a rock. "M-MASTER. MASTER NICE. GIVE ORDER BEFORE. BUT NEW MASTER NOT UNDERSTAND. NEW MASTER WEAK."

"Wait," Goro said, "a new master? What happened to the old one?"

"ME NOT KNOW... BUT MASTER SAY IF EMERGENCY, LISTEN TO PEBBLE."

A new master who was weak and a 'pebble' of some sort. The demon was a rock. Going by that, what would a pebble be? A neophyte Devil Summoner? If that was the case, what happened to the old master? It was assumed that there would be more than one Devil Summoner showing up, so would a neophyte be able to act unassisted?

"Tell us everything you know," Goro said to the rubble heap on the ground. "You get one chance."

"ME NOT KNOW MUCH," it began, but when Goro stepped forward, Loki hovering menacingly behind him, it let out a pathetic squeal and trembled. "B-BUT ME CAN TELL! MASTER GIVE ORDER! SAY CONFUSE ENEMIES! SAY CHANGE MAZE! MASTER BRING PEBBLE FOR TRAINING, BUT MASTER SICK... PEBBLE TAKE OVER AS NEW MASTER, BUT TOO WEAK. CANNOT CONTROL BLACK SUN. CANNOT STEAL DIVA."

Goro heard several sharp intakes of breath at that statement through the comm lines, and the quick glance Joker threw him told him Joker heard it too. Goro kept Loki behind him and stared down at the demon.

"Tell us what these terms mean: Pebble, Black Sun, Diva."

"P-PEBBLE IS PEBBLE. ME NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT NOT CLEAR. BLACK SUN IS—" Ouyamatsumi shuddered in revulsion. "ME NOT LIKE. BLACK SUN. IT DEEP ABYSS. DIVA... ME NOT KNOW WHAT DIVA IS. ONLY MASTER WANT."

"Was your Master working alone?" Joker asked. 

"NO... BUT ME NOT KNOW MASTER FRIENDS..."

"Useless," Goro muttered, and the demon cried.

"PLEASE... SPARE ME. ME NOT HURT YOU ANYMORE."

Mercy was a concept utterly wasted on demons. An idea that Mitsuru Kirijo must have shared, because her voice suddenly came through over the comm lines. Her command was clear, sharp, and brooked no argument.

"Execute it," she said. "We will take no chances."

Goro heard Joker inhale before stepping forward, gun perfectly steady in his hands. "Sorry," he said. "The show's over."

With that, the two of them unleashed an All-Out Attack on Ouyamatsumi. When it was over, only a smoking pile of crushed rock and dust remained.

Goro dug some gravel out from the crevices of his gauntlets. "Everyone heard that?"

"Yes," Nanjo said. "I can't believe they're still after it. Mitsuru, it's past time we addressed the elephant in the room."

"I don't disagree," Kirijo said, "but let's save that for after we get out of this current crisis. ...We'll gather everyone and explain."

"Wait," Iori's voice suddenly popped up. "Diva? They're not talking about Rise Kujikawa, are they? Hey, Risette, you doin' okay?"

"D-V-A," Nanjo said. "Kujikawa can't hear you, by the way; the ballroom operatives are too busy escorting the guests. She is about as safe as one can be while trying to herd cats."

"Huh? Cats? Were there cats in the ballroom?"

Nanjo made a strained noise that sounded like a dying man.

"So," Sanada suddenly cut in, "I don't know for certain if it was because that thing got defeated, but the teleporters where I'm at suddenly all shut off. The pitfalls, too. Thanks; it was a pain trying to figure out where to go with those."

"Yeah, man," Iori said. "I was helping out by drawing maps, but it's hard to keep track!"

"Junpei-kun," came Yamagishi's meek voice, "you got bored halfway through and started playing tic-tac-toe with yourself on the grid paper..."

"Is that why I kept getting turned around? Junpei, come on!"

"One game! I played one game, and that was when you and Fuuka were taking forever trying to figure out which way you were facin' after that teleporter that spun you around!"

Kirijo sighed. "Again with the chaos... We need to get back to assisting the ballroom. Let us know if anything else happens. Good work, Akechi. Amamiya."

"Praise from Mitsuru Kirijo," Joker said as he holstered his gun. "Not bad."

"Come on," Goro said, suddenly feeling mentally exhausted. "We need to keep moving."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning, updates will be slow because my beta got eaten by princess maker and i got eaten by stardew valley. took us both two days to commit to one edit! yeah! working hard!

They crept through the labyrinth, Joker on point, and thankfully ran into only inconsequential demons. Even so, Goro's lack of weapons meant there was only so much damage Goro could inflict without relying on his Personas. The feeling of being useless burned him up from the inside out, but there was no point in wasting his reserves on useless small fry.

And there were a lot of small fry.

After fifteen minutes of walking, killing demons, walking some more, killing more demons, and walking around in corridors laid out as spirals because the layout of the labyrinth was designed to be as aggravatingly indirect as possible, Yamagishi spoke to them.

"You two are doing a great job of navigating this labyrinth. I've got some information for you. Whatever is in the middle of the labyrinth seems to be in charge of supplying this place with demons. That's why their numbers aren't going down no matter how many you defeat."

"Is the big one from earlier going to respawn as well?" Joker asked.

"No. The more powerful ones, like Ouyamatsumi and Thor—" Here, Loki shuddered violently inside Goro's soul. "—seem to have been summoned independently. Speaking of, once you two get past this spiralling corridor, there's going to be another powerful demon waiting for you. I've managed to pre-emptively scan it," Yamagishi added, sounding extremely pleased. "It's immune to pierce, gun, and bless; resistant to other forms of physical damage. Weak to fire."

Joker's wide grin was downright diabolical in the dim light of the labyrinth. "That's a huge help. Thank you."

"You're welcome! Akihiko-san's out of the most treacherous area in his part of the labyrinth, and the common encounters aren't a threat to him. I'll be assisting you in the battle if you need it."

Goro switched over to a Persona that had Agidyne. "Ideally, we won't need it. But it is appreciated."

Getting out of the spiral took a while. Due to the nature of the spiral, the corridors towards the end grew increasingly short before they were forced to turn around a corner. By the time they reached the end, Goro felt a little dizzy, which was why he thought the singing he heard was a byproduct of his dizziness at first.

But then Joker mentioned the singing, and it was then that they both realized that the demon Yamagishi had told them about was the source of the song. Neither of them could see the demon, but its clear baritone voice carried well throughout the corridors. It was unfortunate; the demon couldn't sing well, the melody was simple and repetitive, and the lyrics were absolutely disgusting.

"Her belly button," it sang cheerfully, "more tempting than her lips and eyes! I touched it once, and to my surprise, up sprang my massive—"

"Uh," said Sanada over the comm line. 

"Woah," said Iori.

"O-oh, my," said Yamagishi.

Goro stared at one of the walls and wished fervently for a meteor to destroy the world. 

"—it fit somehow, and inside it was so soft and tight—"

No meteor came. Goro was going to have to take things into his own hands.

He stomped forward, feeling a muscle in his neck twitching. "I'm setting it on fire," he said, and then walked towards the source of the singing while trying not to pay attention to what it was actually saying. Instead, he paid attention to the way the wan green light made everything look slightly radioactive. And to the way that parts of the ground he walked on felt less like stepping on a solid and more like stepping on a stubborn puddle of honey that was in denial about being a liquid. And to how the walls seemed to materialize out of nowhere in his vision rather than slowly come into view as he got closer to them. And to how the lyrics the demon was singing had gotten even filthier, and now it was less a song and more a reading of terrible erotica to a melody.

Goro was bad at not paying attention to the song.

"I think I'm going to adjust the input from you two," Yamagishi said, voice quiet and sounding absolutely mortified. "Um... We won't hear anything that you two don't say to us directly."

"I'm jealous that you guys get that option," Goro heard Joker say from behind him. "I don't blame you for taking it, but I'm still jealous."

Yamagishi sounded genuinely apologetic. "Sorry... I can play music for you, but I don't know if that would actually be helpful or not. Let me know if it says anything important, okay?"

Goro rounded a corner and saw something obnoxiously flashy move around in the distance. "It won't have time to say anything important," he said, increasing his pace with each word. "I'm going to rip out its vocal cords the first chance I get."

He broke out into a sprint. Goro heard Joker sigh before following after him, and that was the last thing he paid attention to before directing all of his focus to the demon. 

Against the dark walls and radioactive green glowing bits of the labyrinth, the splashes of red and blue and non-radioactive green stood out like a full grown adult standing amidst a crowd of elementary school kids at a Featherman puppet show. The demon sounded like one, too. As Goro got closer, he realized that in addition to the demon's singing, there was an infernal squawking noise. It sounded almost like a parrot, if it was a parrot that had gotten torn apart and then hastily put back together, then had its voice tuned through several reverb and echo filters from hell. The squawking held legions; it was the voice of an army warped and wrapped in the voice of an undead bird.

And then there was the smell. Faint floral notes, decadent musk and sandalwood, a touch of smoked wood...all of these scents were wafting from the general direction of the demon, topped off with the pungent smell of bird shit.

Goro wasn't really surprised to find the demon sitting on top of a giant parrot. 

"Oho," the demon cried when he got close enough to attack. "What have we here, hm? Not quite the delicious morsel I had hoped for, but enough for—auuuuuuuuughstopstopstop!!!"

The demon and parrot fell, twitching and flapping on the ground as they tried to put out the fire. Goro didn't bother waiting for Joker, who was still a few steps behind him when the demon fell, and immediately launched himself at the damned thing's throat.

He got blocked by one of the parrot's wings.

Goro swore as he grabbed whatever he could and ripped, the parrot letting out an ear-piercing infernal shriek as it tried to claw at him with its feet.

"Couldn't even wait a few seconds, could you?" Joker said as he sliced at the parrot's legs. "It's not actually possible to perform an All-Out Attack with one person."

"Then you shouldn't have been so slow," Goro said. He punched the squawking parrot, then he hissed when the parrot turned and Goro's fist hit the beak. Seizing that opportunity, the parrot flapped its wings and stood upright again, limping slightly as the demon climbed back on.

Yamagishi's voice came through the comm line. "The bird and rider are one entity! Taking out either one will get rid of the other, so focus on the one that's been weakened!"

The logical thing was to attack the parrot. "I said I was going to rip out its vocal cords," Goro said, "and I will."

"There's no arguing when he gets like this," Joker added, pulling back and dragging Goro with him. "But don't worry. We've got it under control."

The demon looked more upset than the parrot did, brushing bits of dirt off the bird before picking up a bow and notching it with an arrow.

"How dare you attack Kama," the demon cried, aiming at Goro, "the god of sexual desire and carnalityyyyyyyy! Not agaaaaaaiiin!!"

Mara ejaculated flames onto the demon, and both bird and rider fell once more.

"Whyyyyy," Kama shrieked. "I didn't want a sausage party!"

Goro shot Joker a dirty look as the demon writhed on the ground. "Would you put that thing away?!"

Joker gestured at Kama with his dagger, Mara bobbing erect above him. "He's weak to fire. Mara knows Agidyne."

"And you have no other Persona that knows a fire spell?"

Joker shrugged casually and very pointedly did not put Mara away. "Sure, but you saw the bow. Mara reflects pierce; he's clearly the best Persona for the situation."

"I can't fit something that big inside me," Kama sobbed, putting out the fire with the help of the parrot.

"Shut up!" Goro snapped, then turned back to Joker. "Why the hell would you use Mara against a god of sexual desire?!"

"I didn't know he was a god of sexual desire at the time. Does it matter? He's going to be destroyed soon."

"You cannot destroy passion!" Kama cried.

"Shut up," they both yelled back, then looked at each other in the eye.

"Um, guys," Yamagishi said, but they were too lost in the argument now.

"Why are you so riled up," Joker asked, staring hard at Goro, Mara still floating stiffly above him. "You've seen Mara before."

"Everyone has seen Mara before," Goro said. He scowled when Joker's expression lit up.

"Is that the problem? Are you jealous?"

"Guys," came Yamagishi's voice again.

"I'm not jealous. I'm annoyed because your priority seems to be showing off rather than getting through this labyrinth."

"You think I'm showboating."

"You _are_ showboating," Goro snapped as Yamagishi called for their attention again. "Who are you trying to show off to? What are you trying to prove? Why did you even come if you weren't going to be taking this seriously? You think any of the Shadow Operatives are going to care about your posturing?"

"If I was trying to show off, they wouldn't be the ones I'm trying to prove anything to."

"Holy shit, guys," Iori said, "this is a bad place for an argument right now."

"Who then? And don't you dare say me," Goro said, stepping into Joker's personal space so that they were as close as they could be without Goro stabbing Joker's face with his helmet, "because you don't need to prove anything to me."

"Goro—"

"Kama is attacking you," Yamagishi yelled, turning the volume on the comm line all the way up. "He's shooting at you!"

They both winced at the volume, but Joker still managed to maneuver Goro behind him so that Kama's arrows bounced harmlessly off him.

"Such passion," Kama shouted, sounding delighted. "Such _fire_ —nononono that wasn't a cue for—! Aiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!"

Goro lunged for Kama's throat.

The parrot didn't manage to block him this time, and Goro gripped the throat with both hands while Kama scrabbled at them.

"Why couldn't it," Kama rasped, "have been a cute girl choking me...?"

Joker stabbed Kama in the stomach. "Do you feel dirty attacking him? Because I do," he said to Goro, almost conversationally.

"I hate demons," Goro said, and then he squeezed.

The parrot let out a final despairing squawk. Then it, along with Kama, vanished in a flurry of flower petals and feathers. The smell of bird shit, unfortunately, remained.

Joker brushed a stray feather off his coat and turned to Goro. "Okay, I think we really need to talk."

"Actually," Sanada cut in before Goro could say anything, "you both need to focus on the mission." He grunted in exertion. "You two need to remember— _Hiyah_! Remember where you are and what you're doing. _Dodge this_! And stop having arguments while we're on the comm lines. You can have your couple’s spat when you're both alone."

"Akihiko-san," Fuuka said, "the demon you're fighting is weak to electricity."

"Oh, I know," said Sanada in between grunts. "But I'm punching it because I needed a distraction from those two and their relationship drama." 

"Relationship drama," Goro repeated to himself in horror. 

That horror ramped up several notches when Mitsuru Kirijo re-entered the comm line. 

"Très magnifique," she said, sounding ecstatic. "I don't know what exactly happened, but the distortion in the ballroom is gone. Things have returned to— Well, the ballroom is normal once again; I cannot say the same about the guests. How are things outside?"

There was a terrible, meaningful moment of silence.

"What's happened," Kirijo asked, all traces of joy gone from her voice. "Yamagishi, come in!"

"We're...fine," Yamagishi said slowly. "Um. There was just a lot going on, and we're trying to process it."

"That's one way of putting it," Iori added. "Thought I was listening to a Livingtime movie special for a moment."

"A...what kind of movie?" Kirijo asked. "Nevermind. Is everyone all right?"

"Will be in a second," Sanada said, after which he called for his Persona. "Let me just finish up this demon!"

"Amamiya? Akechi? You two have been quiet. Are you both all right?"

"Yes," Goro lied. "We just finished off a demon that was, ah..."

"Raunchy," Joker said.

"Really raunchy," added Iori. "Like, man, R-18 levels of raunchy."

The comm line was suddenly drowned out by the noise of too many people talking in the background at the same time. "Wait, R-18," they heard Kujikawa say. "What's going on out there? Do I want to know?"

"Oh, hey, Risette! You didn't get kidnapped by any demons, did you?"

When Kujikawa next spoke, there was an edge to her voice. "What do you mean, kidnapped? What, you think just because I used to be an idol that means I can't fight?"

"Woah, no, Risette, I didn't—"

"My Persona can attack, too, you know! Just...not while I'm using her scanning abilities."

"I-I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate anything. It's just, see, there was this demon, right? And it talked about kidnapping some diva or something—"

"D-V-A," Nanjo half-yelled into the comm line. "Or D-E-V-A. Both are technically correct."

"Well, I didn't know that! All I heard over the comm line was it talkin' about a diva, so what else was I supposed to think?"

"It couldn't even pronounce it correctly," Nanjo continued. Somehow, Goro could hear him shaking his head. "Unbelievable. Did whoever was behind this not even know how to pronounce the name of the very thing he sought?"

"Is five minutes of orderly communication really so much to ask?" Kirijo asked. "Akihiko, have you finished your fight?"

"Yeah, I'm done. The thing was a pushover. By the way," Sanada added, making a sound of exertion before speaking again, "looks like the walls can be broken now. We can just smash our way to the middle."

"The doors outside are still locked," Suou said. "We're getting some questions, but we've been telling people that you've called for the doors to be closed and locked."

"Not that that's stopping people from trying to get in," Satonaka added, "but that's okay as long as the doors won't open."

"So if I understand correctly," Kirijo said, speaking over the din of conversation the other Shadow Operatives were having, "the ballroom has returned to normal, the walls of the labyrinth are now breakable, and the doors leading out are still locked. Any other changes?"

"The first strong demon that Akechi and Amamiya defeated turned off the traps in my part of the labyrinth," Sanada said. "Looks like everytime we defeat one of the big ones, something gets restored to 'normal'."

"That makes sense, yes," Goro said. "Kirijo-san, you contacted us as soon as we destroyed Kama to let us know the ballroom had returned to normal. Sanada-san, the walls and floor restored themselves while we were fighting, so I believe it may have been the demon that you defeated that was in charge of repairing them."

"Yamagishi," Kirijo said, "how many other strong demon signals do you detect?"

"There's still Thor," Yamagishi said as Goro tried to suppress Loki's irritation, "and I can't tell exactly how many strong demons are at the center of the labyrinth, but there is at least one extremely strong signal."

"I can't hurt Thor," Sanada said, and Goro let out a hiss as Loki thrashed inside his soul. "He absorbs electricity and nullifies physical attacks. Someone else is going to have to fight him."

Goro bit his tongue to avoid volunteering himself. Joker gave him a concerned look, but Goro ignored it.

"Seeing as how the ballroom is restored," Shirogane said over the background din of everyone from the chaotic ballroom, "perhaps some of us could go out into the labyrinth? If the walls can be destroyed, it should be simple to create a direct path to wherever we need to go."

"Oh, yes," Okumura added, sounding delighted. "I can very easily make a path for us to traverse."

Kirijo hummed thoughtfully. "That's not a bad idea, but we will need some people to stay behind and assist us with dealing with the guests."

"I volunteer to go into the labyrinth," Kirishima said. 

Nanjo sighed for what seemed like the fiftieth time that evening. "Eriko, did you forget what you agreed to? 'With great power comes great responsibility.' You're responsible for explaining Michael."

"She tried, trust me," Narukami said. "She tried really hard, but I think she might have...started a cult?"

"What," Nanjo said flatly.

"I am currently hiding beneath a buffet table," Kirishima said, somehow still managing to sound dignified despite the absurdity of her statement. "It seems that there are many people here who are wracked with guilt and have no small amount of fanaticism. Telling them that I was the one who summoned Michael was, um... Well, it was a mistake."

"They think Kirishima-san is a messenger of God," Narukami explained.

Nanjo's sigh sounded like him expelling the last of his faith in humanity along with his breath. "Eriko... I don't even know what to say to that."

"My continued presence in the ballroom will only lead to chaos, so it makes sense for me to go into the labyrinth, no? Besides, navigating the demon-infested halls sounds like fun!"

"It isn't," Goro said.

"Fun isn't the word I'd use," Sanada said.

"It's more fun than being alone with my cat," Joker said.

"How is fighting demons more fun than being with a cat," Goro heard Suou mutter over the line.

"Just let her go into the labyrinth," Kirijo said. "Narukami, please accompany her and Okumura. Kujikawa, Shirogane, if the two of you don't mind, please stay and help Nanjo and I placate the guests."

"No problem," Kujikawa chirped. "Working a crowd is easy."

"Good. We need to have the crowd calmed down while we come to a final decision about how to explain things. Kujikawa, I know you haven't mastered the ability to use your Persona in the real world, but if you sense anything strange, let me know immediately. Now, if everyone understands their roles, let us commence."

"Oh, Fuuka-san," Okumura said as the comm lines broke down into multiple conversations again, "I just left the ballroom. Can you tell me if I'll hit anyone if I destroy the walls in a straight line in front of me?"

"No," Yamagishi said. "It doesn't look like it."

"Thank you," Okumura said. "Now come, Persona!"

The entire labyrinth shook as the sound of heavy artillery rang over the comm lines and layered over the sound echoing down the labyrinth halls. Goro and Joker looked towards the general direction of the sound and found a cloud of dust and smoke spilling out from above the labyrinth walls in the distance.

"Woah," said Narukami. "That was cool."

"Wait, did Okumura make all that ruckus by herself?" Sanada asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Okumura said. "I didn't mean for it to be so loud. Did anyone in the ballroom hear that?"

"We heard and felt it," Kujikawa said weakly. "Oof. That's another thing we're going to have to explain, isn't it?"

"Perhaps," Shirogane said, sounding strained, "you ought to try using a gentler method next time..."

"Yes, I will keep that in mind. I suppose all of the guns at once was a bit unnecessary."

"Oh, I missed it. What a shame," Kirishima said. "Haru-san, could I convince you to do that again?"

"Hey, Fuuka," Sanada said as Nanjo burst into a lecture, "which way do I go to join up with them and not get shot to pieces?"

"I'm going to refrain from mass destruction until it's needed," Okumura said at the same time Yamagishi gave Sanada directions. 

The chaos of the comm line was too much. Goro closed his eyes and let out a groan. He gestured towards Joker. "We," he said, keeping his voice low so no one could hear him over the din, "are postponing whatever talk we're going to be having."

"That's fair," said Joker. "The trail is still there, but I think it may be faster if we just broke through the walls. There's no point in running around in circles anymore."

Goro opened his eyes. "Let me. Loki, Laevatein!"

Loki emerged, restless and irritated from the earlier mentions of Thor. With one broad sweep of Loki's blade, the labyrinth walls around them were obliterated. Goro kept Loki out as they stepped over the rubble, paving the way for Joker and annihilating any demons that were stupid enough to get close.

The mental drain was significant, but it also felt good. By itself, the mission was annoying, but most of it was within the acceptable parameters of frustration. Goro could handle fighting demons—even absurd ones like Kama—because the ability to cut loose and be vicious was the best method for dealing with mission-related stress. Joker-related stress, on the other hand...

All of his frustrations towards Joker were best dealt with by copious amounts of sulking followed by hopefully-not-as-copious amounts of talking. In the labyrinth, neither of those options were available to him. Letting himself indulge in wanton destruction was an excellent bandage for the problem, but one method of stress relief for two different sources of stress could only go so far. Too much stress made him emotional; emotions made him stupid.

The solution, he decided, was to stop thinking for a while.

So Loki destroyed things and Goro did not let himself think about anything too much. Occasionally, Joker would tell him that they needed to change the direction of the demolition or clear some rubble; Goro performed those tasks not with joy, per se, but with a sort of blank obedience that was almost soothing. If it had been anyone else other than Joker—other than Ren—giving him instructions, Goro would have never accepted it.

In the end, what it came down to was that Goro trusted Ren; trusted Ren more than he trusted himself. And that was a whole thing to unpack when he had the time and the mental capacity, but they were still stuck in a spirit labyrinth, there were still demons trying to attack them, his phone still didn't work, his therapist was probably asleep already, and Goro was adamant about not thinking about things for a while.

It was his insistence on not thinking that probably spared Susumu Hayashi from being speared on Loki's blade.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiyyyaaaaaa," Hayashi screamed when Loki smashed the wall that separated him from Goro and Joker. He tucked himself into a corner and huddled into as much of a ball as he could while still remaining standing. "W-w-who's t-t-there? W-who are you p-p-p-people?!"

Goro stared blankly at him and hoped desperately that Hayashi was a hallucination.

"You," said Joker.

Hayashi was not a hallucination. At least he hadn't recognized them.

"M-me? Wait a minute... You! You're that man who stole my seat! Wait, no... Are y-you and your w-weird friend one of Father's enemies?! Or his associates?!"

Correction: Hayashi didn't recognize him, but he recognized Joker. Not that Goro was supposed to focus on that statement.

"Associates?" Goro asked, glaring at Hayashi with all the rage he felt before and then some. "Who are your father's associates? Are they responsible for this?"

Hayashi looked like he was going to piss himself. Still, he attempted to stand tall. His posturing didn't do much, mostly because his knees were still buckling enough to cause his entire body to shake like a wobbling skyscraper during an earthquake. "H-hahaha... Y-you think I'm going to tell a b-bunch of costumed fools like you? T-this isn't even a masquerade! And you," he added, pointing at Goro with a trembling hand, "are wearing the ugliest costume I've ever seen!"

"He just called you ugly," Joker said. Although his voice was level, Goro could see him suppressing a smirk.

"He called my _costume_ ugly," Goro said, then he sneered. To Hayashi, he said: "Susumu Hayashi... Your pathetic blustering is pointless. Tell us everything you know and everything you've done."

"Hayashi?!" Kujikawa shouted over the comm line. "Seriously?! Wait, isn't he—"

"He's still unconscious," Shirogane said. "Susumu Hayashi is his son."

Goro tuned out the comm line as Susumu Hayashi scrambled backwards. With his back against the corner, however, there was no place left for him to go, and Hayashi flailed about, one hand sinking into a fleshy pustule on the wall. He shrieked as he yanked his hand out, then slid down into a sad and pathetic pile on the ground.

"Y-you have no idea who you're messing with," he said, wiping his hand on the ground with broad, jittery strokes. "Haha... I don't know how you two managed to get so far, but you're going to regret everything! Come, my demon!"

"Of course Hayashi's stupid son is a stupid Devil Summoner," Kujikawa muttered as Goro and Joker braced themselves. Hayashi held out a flip phone that looked like it was possessed by the devil. Given that Hayashi was a Devil Summoner, it probably was. Sparks of black lightning fizzled out from the phone, and before either Goro or Joker could do anything, a small form took shape in the space between them and Hayashi.

"Master Hee-yashi," the demon said, landing on the ground with a soft sound like someone treading through freshly fallen snow, "I'm at your command, ho!"

It was a Jack Frost. It looked like a normal, run-of-the-mill Jack Frost. It wasn't a different color, didn't wear different clothes, and had no extra hat or accessories. It looked as plain as a Jack Frost could be.

Goro immediately went on the defensive. There was no way that, so close to the center of the labyrinth, Hayashi would use a _normal Jack Frost_. Even if Hayashi was a fledgling Devil Summoner, he must have had more sense to not use such a basic demon in a place riddled with demons more powerful than that.

Hayashi pointed at them with a trembling, crooked finger. His face was twisted up in a grotesque expression of fear and anger. "J-Jack Frost! Destroy them!"

The Jack Frost twirled and raised one hand up. "I'm gonna hee-ave ho your asses outta the labyrinth, ho!"

Goro braced himself and saw Joker do the same from the corner of his vision. The Jack Frost reared back the arm it had raised, winding up for a pitch, and Goro watched as it threw a snowball at Joker.

The snowball hit Joker on the chest, where it broke apart and fell to the ground in clumps. There were a few pieces of snow caught on the details of his vest.

"Uh," Joker said after a second. "Was that a normal snowball?"

"That was a normal snowball," Yamagishi said. "The Jack Frost you two are fighting appears to be weaker than usual."

The Jack Frost slumped over, arms hanging limply at its side. "Master Hee-yashi... Sorry, ho... I gave it my best hee ho, but it was a hee no go."

Hayashi reached out to the Jack Frost. "W-wait! No, try again!"

Jack Frost shook its head. "It's no use, ho. They're too hee-strong for me." It suddenly straightened up and leaned forward. "But I hee-know what I can do! I'm gonna fight every-hee demon in the labyrinth, ho! Then I'll get strong and kick their hee hos to the moon! Bye, Master Hee-yashi!"

With that, Jack Frost skipped past the two of them, singing a happy little tune. Goro and Joker turned to watch it go prancing away, then turned back to look at Hayashi. Hayashi was on his hands and knees, one arm stretched out for the Jack Frost.

"W-wait! You're my only demon! You can't just leave me!"

"Does, uh," Iori said, "does anyone else kind of feel sorry for him?"

"No," Goro said.

Hayashi nearly fell to the ground at Goro's voice. "S-stay back! Both of you! I— I'll— I'll summon something else!"

"You just said that Jack Frost was your only demon," Joker said. He took a step towards Hayashi. "Surrender already."

"Y-you— I—" Hayashi was sputtering, flecks of spit being shot out with every aborted sentence he started. His face was contorted into an expression of desperate frenzy as he looked between Joker and Goro. The fear he felt was practically palpable, yet Goro had to hand it to him for not giving up despite it.

Hayashi finally managed to scramble to his feet after a few seconds of this. By that point, Goro and Joker were within range to restrain him, but before either of them could, Hayashi bolted. 

Or, at least, Hayashi tried to bolt. He tried to gun it through the space between Goro and Joker. On instinct, Goro lifted his arm and held his fist at face level. Hayashi ran into Goro's fist and went backwards, hitting his head on a labyrinth wall and then crumpling into a pathetic, unconscious heap on the ground.

It was immensely satisfying. Goro stared at the body and did not even attempt to hold back his smile.

"Hayashi's down," Joker said. "He ran into Crow's fist."

"Akechi punched him?" asked Kirijo.

"No, Hayashi ran into his fist. I watched it happen." 

Kirijo's deep sigh was also immensely satisfying. 

"There goes any attempt at questioning him... Keep an eye on him so he doesn't wake up and leave," Kirijo said. "The others will be joining you shortly."

There was an explosion not far from where they were. "We're on our way," Okumura said. "Should I switch to my axe? I wouldn't want to accidentally shoot Joker."

That she didn't mention Goro was not lost on him. "No, it's fine. Even if you do hit him by accident, he has a Persona that reflects projectiles. Ah, but I suppose you might be hit with the ricochet, so try aiming at him from an angle."

Joker gave him a deadpan look. "And what are you going to do when Noir shoots you?"

Goro gave Joker a pleasant smile and then stood behind him. "I'll be standing behind you, of course."

"I'm switching to my axe," Okumura said, sounding so diplomatically neutral that Goro knew she was upset with him. He didn't move from his position, though, and Joker turned his head back just enough to be able to look at Goro with one eye.

"You're enjoying this," he said, voice low so others wouldn't hear it on the comm line. 

Goro continued giving him that pleasant smile, although he allowed some of his vindictive amusement to leach out. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," Joker said. Then, louder, he added: "Noir, let me help you. I'll meet you guys halfway. Crow can keep an eye on Hayashi."

"Didn't he punch him?" Narukami asked.

"As Joker reported, Hayashi-san ran into my fist. Furthermore, no matter my opinions about the man, I would not attack someone who is already unconscious."

"Yeah," Joker said sarcastically as he summoned Bishamonten to pulverize the walls in front of him. "Crow's honorable like that. He'd never stoop so low as to hit someone when they're down or get close to someone only to shoot them in the back later."

Goro glared at Joker's back, then realized that everyone in the Shadow Operatives already knew about every damnable thing he'd done in the past. With nothing to lose, he chuckled to himself before retorting. "You're right, Joker. After all, I shot you in the head from the front. That's certainly more honorable than skulking about in the shadows like a pack of thieves."

"Holy shit," Iori whispered.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Crow. You probably looked me in the eyes when you did it, too. How righteous of you, letting your victim know who killed them."

"Thank you for understanding me, Joker. What a shame, then, that it was only a cognition of you I shot. I truly believed we had bonded over that. But, alas, I suppose it was too much to ask for a thief to be honest with me."

"Okay," Sanada said with a strained voice, "I know I'm not the best at reading this kind of thing, but is this the two of you flirting with each other, or is this conversation a sign that we need to sign you up for couples counseling?"

"Couples counseling," Kujikawa said. "Definitely counseling!"

Okumura sounded weary. "Actually... This is fairly normal behavior for them."

"Doesn't mean they don't need counseling!"

Goro decided it was time to stand up for himself. "I have a therapist and I receive regular counseling. I don't believe Joker has one, but displaying emotional vulnerability is lethal to him."

"Okay," Sanada said as Joker turned back to shoot Goro an annoyed look, "couples counseling it is."

Kirijo's voice over the comm line was as close to pleading as Goro had ever heard from her. "Everyone, please. Focus."

The comm line fell quiet long enough for Joker and the others to meet. Goro, dutifully standing watch over Hayashi's unconscious body, couldn't see them, but he could hear them in faint stereo.

"Joker," he heard Okumura exclaim as a cloud of dust rose over the labyrinth a small distance away.

"Long time no see, Noir."

Okumura giggled as someone let out a whistle.

"That's a sharp outfit," Narukami said. "You really went all out with the phantom thief motif."

"I know designers who would kill to be able to claim something like that," Kirishima said. "From what I've seen from you and Haru-san, I must ask if everyone who was a member of the Phantom Thieves was so well-dressed."

There was a loud silence from Joker. Goro knew what he was thinking, but if Joker wasn't going to say anything aloud, then Goro saw no reason to incriminate himself.

Okumura, however, had no such reservations. "We don't get to choose what we look like in the spaces between realities; our outfits are supposed to embody our spirit of rebellion, so... Um..."

The group came into view as Okumura trailed off. With a truly impressive level of synchronization, the three Persona users who had never been members of the Phantom Thieves stopped and stared at Goro.

"Oh," said Kirishima.

"Wow," said Sanada.

"Those certainly are clothes," said Narukami in what was probably meant to be a supportive tone of voice.

Joker kept walking even as the others stood still. He came up to Goro and clapped a hand on his shoulder as Goro tried not to visibly seethe too much. 

"You should see his other outfit," Joker said, squeezing down on Goro's shoulder. "I don't know if it's better or worse than this one."

Goro observed that if he turned the right way, it would have been possible to cut Joker's face with the tips of his mask. He magnanimously refrained. "I'm going to feed you to that Jack Frost," Goro said calmly, "when it finds us again and has turned into whatever abominable form it's destined for."

"Couples counseling," Kujikawa said again.

Joker gave Goro's shoulder one last squeeze before tucking his hands into his pockets. "All right, we're all here. Susumu Hayashi is still unconscious. What's our plan?"

"Thor is still roaming the labyrinth," Yamagishi said, and Goro wished he could make Loki stop twitching every time the name was mentioned. "You are all standing at the edge of where my scanning abilities are still effective. Whatever lies in the center of the labyrinth has some sort of scrambling ability. I can't tell if there's one or multiple demons, but I can tell that they're strong."

"If Akechi is correct," Kirijo said, "then we will need to eliminate all of the strong demons in the labyrinth to return things to normal. I'm afraid I don't know enough about Devil Summoners to know if knocking Hayashi out was enough to weaken the demons, but it's very likely that he isn't the sole person summoning them."

"He did mention his father's associates," Narukami said. "If they're the type to be wandering around a spirit labyrinth, then I'm guessing we can assume that they're also Devil Summoners?"

"There is also what Ouyamatsumi said," Goro added. "I believe that Nanjo-san and Kirijo-san know what the 'diva' it mentioned is, and I have a hypothesis that the 'pebble' is meant to be Susumu Hayashi. After all, it claimed that its master was unavailable, and that it had to listen to a pebble in their place. A pebble may be to a rock what a son is to a man. If so, that leaves only the 'black sun' as the unknown factor. Whatever it is, it seems that Susumu Hayashi could not adequately control it, and that Ouyamatsumi considers it a deep abyss."

Kirishima took a few steps towards Hayashi, looking down at his prone form. "A black sun, you say? One that may be a deep abyss, and could not be controlled by a fledgling Devil Summoner... My first thought was that the black sun was the moon, but there are so many mythological demons and gods related to the moon that it's difficult to figure out which one it could be. A black sun that's also an abyss... The night itself? Nyx?" She suddenly looked up at Sanada. "Oh, no, I'm sorry—"

Sanada had gone deathly still and pale.

"If it were Nyx," Kirijo said, voice as cold and brittle as ice, "then we would know. All of humanity would know."

"It's not Nyx," Sanada said. 

"Yes," Kirishima said, and she looked ashamed. "I'm sorry... I hadn't meant to— Well. At any rate, a black sun and an abyss, hm? An abyss... A pit? And the sun is a star, so a black star? A black star in the pits of the abyss—" 

Kirishima's stream of consciousness was cut off by the sound of a low, reverberating roar. It was felt more than heard; the roar was a tremor that shook space itself. Starting at the feet, the sound penetrated the body and turned it into a tuning fork. Everything was sound and the sound was everything. Goro couldn't move; his flesh felt like mud, subject to the whims of the seismic force that was the roar. 

The sensation faded slowly. By the time everyone there could move again, Susumu Hayashi had awoken and was whimpering to himself on the floor. The comm line went frantic with the concerned voices of everyone who was outside the labyrinth.

"We're mostly fine," Narukami said. "Could you guys feel that?"

"We heard it," Nanjo said. "Are you sure you're going to be all right?"

"We don't have a choice one way or another," Sanada said. "We've got to take down whatever did that. It's most likely the demon that's waiting for us in the center of the maze."

"I wish I could help you more," Yamagishi said. "I'll keep an eye on Thor. He's been slowly drawing closer to the center of the labyrinth, but his pace has been slow."

"We shouldn't leave Hayashi here," Okumura said. "But I don't feel right about leaving one of us behind to keep an eye on him."

"Then let's take him with us," Kirishima said, and then she summoned a Persona. "I can keep him asleep. Skuld! Dormina!"

Hayashi let out a pathetic shriek as the Persona cast a spell on him, but that tapered off into nothing as he nodded off, snoring as he lost himself to slumber.

"There's something that doesn't feel right about using a Persona to keep him unconscious," Shirogane said, "but I suppose putting him to sleep isn't the worst course of action to take."

"Much better than punching his lights out," Satonaka said.

Goro and Joker spoke at the same time. "He ran into my fist."

"He ran into Crow's fist.”

Sanada shook his head as he walked over to Hayashi, grabbing one of his arms and slinging it across his shoulders. "I'll carry him for a while. Come on, let's go."

"Good luck," Yamagishi said as Sanada headed in. "I won't be able to reach you once you enter the heart of the labyrinth, so please be extra careful!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to list these last chapter, so have some Demon Facts!
> 
> [Ouyamatsumi](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Ouyamatsumi) is an infrequent demon appearing most recently in Persona Q2. It shares the same design as [Ubelluris](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Ubelluris), which was confusing as heck the first time I ran into him. He is the brother of very famous gods Amaterasu and Susano-O, as well as the grandfather of Susano-O's wife: Kushinada-Hime. (It's mythology.) However, he is not given a lot of attention in the SMT games. Then again, the Kunitsukami are all rather underappreciated in media compared to the Amatsukami.
> 
> [Sudama](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Sudama) are minor yokai. In SMT-verse, they are associated with [Kodama](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Kodama). Sudama are more associated with rocks and rivers, where as Kodama are associated with trees. Sudama are also known as [Chimimoryo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimim%C5%8Dry%C5%8D),or just [Chimi](http://yokai.com/chimi/). As spirits of rocks, I thought it fitting for a collection of them to evolve into Ouyamatsumi, a god of mountains. It's a bit of a stretch, but SMT games have had weirder evolutions. (Kelpie into Valkyrie, anyone? Still looking for a reason other than it going from a horse to a lady on a horse)
> 
> [Kama](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Kama) is a Hindu god of love and sexual desire. There's a lot of material on him, but the reason why I portrayed him as a horny loser is because...that's how he was in Devil Survivor 2, and that impression of him never faded. Look, play DeSu2. The art may be atrocious, but it's if Persona had a baby with Fire Emblem and brought back classic SMT style demon fusion with the joy of participating in auctions and hating other people. Beautiful.
> 
> I have other ideas for stories in this universe, and if I ever get motivated enough to write them, that Jack Frost will be reappearing. As something else, _of course_ , so look forward to seeing more of him if I don't flake out!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you all know that tea plants, introduced in the latest Stardew Valley update, act more like trees than crops? I didn't! Hahaha, that was a lot of work I had to undo.

There was, at first, no difference that Goro could tell between the center of the labyrinth and the rest of it. The path they walked was simple, with no branching corridors to confuse them. They meandered through the twisting passageway, keeping an eye out for trouble and an ear out for anything of interest.

Gradually, however, they noticed that the labyrinth center grew darker. There were fewer and fewer of the light-emitting flesh pustules the deeper they went. The walls, too, grew smoother the deeper they went. The veiny protrusions smoothed themselves out, and the walls became less like foul mockeries of organic flesh and more like actual stone.

After several minutes of walking, there were practically no light-emitting pustules at all, and when Goro placed his hand on a wall, he found it to be completely smooth and textureless.

They took a short break once it got too dark to see. Sanada handed off Hayashi to Narukami, and when Hayashi stirred, Kirishima put him back to sleep. She then summoned Michael and took the point, white gown billowing behind her as she walked. The gown remained spotless even as it brushed against the floor and walls, probably because there wasn't a single speck of dust or muck to be found; another sign of just how different the center of the labyrinth was from the areas outside it.

The stonework was smooth, seamless, and pitch black. Looking at the walls for too long gave Goro vertigo. The ground, too, was made from the same featureless black stone, and much to everyone's dismay, it was far slipperier than the other parts of the labyrinth. 

"What's with this place," Sanada muttered as he looked around. "I can barely tell the walls and floor apart."

"It is disorienting," Kirishima muttered, trailing behind the light of her Persona. "If it weren't for Michael leading me, I'm afraid I would have led us to walking into the walls at several points. Is this what was meant by the abyss? A star located in absolute darkness?"

"Guessing as to what we might find in here isn't going to do much," Sanada said. "Whatever it was that let out that roar isn't going to go down easy. We should focus on what we can do instead of hypotheticals."

"I don't disagree, but there's something about a black star in an abyss that's frustrating me. It's familiar, but it's right on the edge of my miiiiiiii—"

Kirishima went down. People shouted her name as Michael swooped down, taking the light with him, although not too far.

"Kirishima-san," Narukami said as he set Hayashi down and Sanada rushed forward, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," they heard Kirishima say as Michael floated back up, carrying her in his arms. The two of them looked like the cover of a used hundred-yen pulp novel. "There's a drop here. It's not a hole, but a very steep slide. Please watch your step!"

The rest of the group cautiously gathered at the edge of the drop and peered down once Kirishima was set down. Michael's light could not illuminate the bottom of the drop, but the slide was indeed steep. Like everything else in this part of the labyrinth, it was made of an infinitely black and uniform stone, smooth and slippery.

"It won't be easy for us to return upward if we go down," Okumura said as she stepped back. "Even if some of us have Persona that can fly, I don't know how easy it would be to return."

Sanada moved to the edge of the slope and sat down. "If this is our only way forward, we've got to take it. I'll head down first."

With that, he pushed himself down the slide, remaining silent as he slid out of range of Michael's light.

Kirishima gathered her gown around her as she sat at the edge. "I suppose I shall go next. I feel it's more important to have a light at the bottom than at the top. Don't dawdle, though! I'll see you all soon!"

With that, she also slid down, laughing all the way. Michael followed behind her, and both the light and the sound of her voice faded until neither could be observed anymore.

Those who remained stood silently in the dark for a second.

"She took our light," Goro said dryly.

"We've got butts," Narukami said, perfectly serious, and there was the sound of someone shuffling in the dark. "We can scoot on our butts and find the edge. I'll take Hayashi with me, so don't worry about him."

"Or we could summon something and cast a spell," Joker said. "Hamaon? Kougaon? Agidyne, maybe?"

Goro reached towards where he remembered Joker was standing and grabbed what felt like his wrist. "Don't."

"Crow," Okumura said, overly sweet and very dangerous. "please let go."

 _Fuck_. Goro immediately released her.

There was the sound of something slapping the stone. "Come on, you guys," Narukami said. "Sit and scoot. Akihiko-san and Kirishima-san are waiting for us."

Scooting, as it turned out, was not the ideal solution to getting down the slide without a nasty surprise. Someone scooted their pointy toed boots into Goro's butt twice, and Goro was ready to call out Joker for doing it on purpose when Narukami caved and summoned Daisoujou. It took a few casts of Hamaon on the walls before they all made their way down, Joker going first, followed by Goro, with Okumura and Narukami following after.

The journey itself was disturbingly long. Goro had expected the descent to last a few seconds at most, but a few seconds came and went and he was still going down. There were, thankfully, no turns or curves, but the straight shot down didn't make him feel any better. He started counting the seconds once he realized that it was taking far too long to reach the bottom, but he stopped counting once he hit fifty. 

He kept sliding down. Lower and lower he went, on a seemingly unending journey into the bowels of the earth. Into the pits of hell.

Into the deepest abyss.

"Shit," he said aloud. No one responded. He hadn't gone down that much longer after Joker did.

"Shit," he said again with emphasis. "I hate demons."

He continued sliding down, the steepness increasing the further down he went. The increase in grade made his descent increase in speed, and soon enough he was dropping so quickly that he worried about what would happen once he reached the end.

And there was an end, because the only benefit that the increased steepness offered was that he was able to see a light at the end of the slide. Ideally, it meant that Kirishima had made it to the bottom with the other two. Considering the labyrinth, though, Goro wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out to be a trap.

With nothing else to do, he started counting. He made it to seven when, without warning, the slope began to rapidly taper off until it was flat. Inertia kept Goro going, however, and he rolled out of the slide onto flat ground. He scraped at the floor to slow down as someone shouted his name, then collided with someone before they both hit a wall.

"Ow," he heard Joker say. "Crow, you're digging into my kidneys."

"I told you not to stand there," Sanada said from somewhere above them. "Come on, you two. Get untangled before you get bowled over by someone else."

For the second time that night, Goro had to detangle himself from Joker. They had barely managed to both stand upright when someone else came barreling down the slide, and Joker and Goro had to move quickly in order to avoid getting mowed down by Okumura. Joker managed to grab her in time to prevent her from crashing into the wall, and as he helped her sit up, a distant scream came echoing down the slide.

Okumura got up with Joker's help, looking rather dazed. "Oh, that ending wasn't nearly as fun."

"It's an abrupt end, yes," Kirishima said as she peered at the slide in concern. "Who is screaming?"

Okumura daintily stepped to the side as the screaming grew louder. "That would be Hayashi. Narukami-san decided it would be best to send him along in between the two of us."

Kirishima took a step towards the slide. "He's woken up again? All right, I can put him back to sleep. Everyone may wish to move away; I won't be able to aim quite as well once Michael is unsummoned."

Everyone scrambled away as Hayashi rolled down the slide, screaming non-stop as he did so. He shrieked as he crashed against the wall, then shrieked even louder when Kirishima put away Michael.

"Dormina," she cried at the same time the sound of someone else tumbling down the slide hit their ears.

"Well," they heard Narukami say, "that was funnnnn—zzzzzzzz."

Hayashi kept screaming.

"Er, Dormina?" Kirishima tried again, and Hayashi finally went silent, scream tapering off into a loud snore. 

When Michael returned and illuminated the scene, they found Narukami snuggled up to Hayashi, both of them sleeping away.

"Looking back," Okumura said, "I should have known that Narukami-san wouldn't have been very far behind."

Sanada sighed and went to heft Narukami up by the armpits. "It's not your fault," he said to Okumura. "It's not anyone's fault. Come on, help me wake this guy. Someone's got to have an item or something, right?"

"We could slap him awake," Goro said as Joker started patting his pockets. 

"Or leave him asleep for a little while," Joker said, pulling out various healing items from his pockets and then shoving them back in. "Sleeping's good for recovery. We do it in battle sometimes when we're in a pinch."

Sanada stared at both of them like they had suggested they kill Hayashi. "What? You guys sleep in battle?"

"Only if the enemy is sufficiently weak enough," Okumura said. "It's very helpful for when our mental reserves are low."

"You guys fall asleep _intentionally_ in battle?!"

Joker shrugged and stopped rummaging. "I have no items that will cure sleep, but I do have a Persona with Amrita Shower. That would wake him up, too," he added, nudging Hayashi with his feet.

"Oh, let's just try shaking him," Kirishima said, walking up to Narukami and Sanada. "It's time to wake up," she said, then grabbed Narukami's shoulders and jostled him.

Narukami's head fell back and hit Sanada's. "Nnf," he murmured. "No...just a little more..."

"Come on," Sanada said, shaking him more vigorously. "Narukami, wake up. We don't have time to waste."

Narukami did not wake, although he rolled his head from side to side. "No... Teddie, not...the suit... Not again..."

Kirishima and Sanada continued shaking Narukami, both of their actions growing more and more vigorous as Narukami remained stubbornly resistant to their antics. It was, Goro decided, one of the more entertaining sights he'd seen all night, although the fact that they were wasting so much time was grating.

"Let's slap him," Joker said, hands in his pockets and watching the scene with rapt fascination. "At this rate, those two will accidentally break his neck."

"No," Narukami mumbled as Kirishima and Sanada shook him back and forth. "Not a...rolly bear..."

Okumura stepped forward, pushing the sleeves of her shirt up. "Allow me," she said. "I am confident in my ability to slap him without hurting him."

The implication was that she didn't trust one or both of them to do it, which was fine by Goro. He watched her impassively as she walked up to the rest of the team and spoke to them briefly. Sanada and Kirishima exchanged wary looks, but Kirishima still stepped aside to allow Okumura access to Narukami's sleeping form. Okumura took a deep breath, reared her arm back, and then delivered a solid slap across Narukami's face. The sound of it rang clear through the space they were in, and Narukami's head snapped to the side slightly upon impact.

"Grass...stains— Muh? Huh? What...happened?" Narukami yawned, then winced and lifted a hand to his cheek. "Ow."

"I'm sorry," Okumura said as Sanada set him down. "You were asleep, so I slapped you to wake you up. Are you hurt? I was trying to hold back..."

Narukami gave her a blank stare as Sanada suddenly gave Okumura an appreciative glance. "It's not the worst thing I've been subjected to, but that was you holding back, huh?"

"Hey, Okumura," Sanada said, "you box? I think you'd be good at it, given how easily you swing that axe of yours around."

Before Okumura and Sanada could get into a conversation about martial arts and waste time, Goro stepped in. "I apologize for interrupting, but now that Narukami-san is awake, we ought to press forward. I doubt it's safe to linger here for long, and we must take Kirishima-san into consideration as well. I doubt it's easy for her to maintain summoning Michael for so long."

Kirishima giggled. "I agree about moving forward, Akechi-kun, but there is no need to worry about me. I am quite used to keeping my Personas out for lengthy periods of time. Besides which, taking a nice stroll through these halls is quite invigorating!"

There was, Goro realized, no way he could ever hope to understand Eriko Kirishima's reasoning. Thankfully, he didn't appear to be the only one.

"Kirishima-san," Narukami said, rubbing his cheek while still bleary-eyed from his nap, "your mind is incredible."

"You guys are right," Sanada said. "Sorry, that one's all on me. Okumura, let's talk about training after all this." He slapped a fist into his palm. "Right now, we need to take down a demon or two."

There was a short debate on whose turn it was to carry Hayashi before Joker volunteered himself, hefting Hayashi onto his back as they headed deeper in. Other than their footsteps, the depths of the labyrinth were completely silent. Just like the center of the labyrinth above them, there were no trash mobs to deal with. The hallway, too, was a straight shot. Unlike any of the other areas in the labyrinth, there were no turns, no twists, no meandering back and forth. Whatever this place was, it seemed like the only goal was to lead them to a singular destination.

That's why when the hallway opened up to a larger space, everyone was instantly on guard. They became even more wary when, upon closer observation, there was a door on either side of the space and a continuation of the straight path on the opposite end.

The doors were gray instead of black. Other than the lighter shade, they appeared to be made of the same unnaturally smooth stone. The handles were smoothly connected, as if everything had been carved out of a single object. The seams between the doors and the walls were invisible, and the difference in color was the only indication of where the doors began and ended.

"So," Joker said after everyone took a moment to look over their options, "I'm thinking about opening the left door."

"Huh," said Narukami. "I was just thinking about the right."

"How about we ignore the doors and just keep going," Sanada said. "This feels like a trap."

"I don't know," Okumura said. "I feel like these doors wouldn't be here unless they have a purpose. I think we should open them."

"If we do open them," Goro said, "then we should open them one at a time. Splitting up without outside support would be foolish."

Kirishima clapped her hands together. "If that is the case, then let's take a vote on which door to open first. All those in favor of the right, please raise your hands."

She and Narukami raised their hands.

"All those in favor of the left?"

Goro raised his hand along with Okumura. Joker lifted Hayashi's body up instead of a hand.

Sanada shook his head, but there was a faint smile on his face. "And I'm in favor of skipping the doors entirely, but it looks like I'm outvoted. Should've seen the Phantom Thieves all agreeing to the same option, though."

"Joker has yet to steer any of us astray," Okumura said. "We trust him with our lives."

Even after all this time, there was still a part of Goro that felt like there was something incorrect about being called a Phantom Thief. There was no point in bringing it up then and there, however, so he opted to say nothing and present an air of silent agreement to Okumura's words.

Joker moved towards the door and set Hayashi on the ground. "Thanks, Noir. Although now I feel like the pressure's on."

"You'll be fine," Goro said. "I know from experience that you're hard to kill."

Goro could feel the discomfort radiating off the others in the group, and he met Joker's smirk with one of his own before following after. Everyone else did too, after a beat, and they stood behind Joker as he placed a hand on the door handle. 

Joker took a deep breath, then pulled the door open.

The first thing Goro noticed was the light. It was soothing; the glow was not so bright that it burned their eyes after so long in the dark with only a Persona as guidance, but still enough to clearly illuminate everything in the chamber. The second thing he noticed was the music. A mellow new age track flowed from the room. The sound of piano and harp chords helped to accentuate the relaxed mood of the room, and something that sounded like the distant chirping of songbirds could be heard throughout the melody.

The room itself was spacious, walls covered with moss and ferns lining the ground. A pebble-paved path led to an enormous fountain, where water flowed down from a stacked stone pillar. Above the fountain hovered a vaguely human-shaped figure dressed in what Goro could only describe as a BDSM nurse outfit. More disturbingly, the figure had bright, iridescent blue-green wings and was carrying a riding crop. 

"Oh, no," Goro heard Kirishima say as the rest of them gawked. "She's still at it."

"Hello," the figure said before smacking the riding crop into her palm. "This world is fueled by give-and-take! You're new, aren't you? My name is Trish, and I'm the protector of this place of recovery. You need healing, don't you? Well, I can provide it! For a price, of course."

"I have no idea what I'm looking at right now," Narukami said.

"I think we should leave," Sanada added.

"Trish," Kirishima said, pushing past the group and into the room, "I see you haven't changed much in these last few years."

Trish narrowed her eyes as everyone else reluctantly followed after Kirishima. "Wait...you're not new here at all!" She whipped the riding crop against the stone pillar in the middle of the fountain, and the sound reverberated throughout the room. "Good! Then you know how this goes. Don't be a cheapskate! Pay up and live!"

"Kirishima-san," Okumura stage whispered, "who is she?"

Kirishima sighed. "Long story short, Trish is a fairy who's been banned from the fairy kingdom. She provides healing for those in need, but only for exorbitant prices."

"There's no price too high to pay for your lives, right? So don't be a tightwad, recover!"

"And," Kirishima continued warily, "she tends to be...forceful." She turned to Trish. "How much would you be charging us today?"

Trish twirled the riding crop like a baton as she looked over the group. "Let's see... Considering the recovery market and your current status... Recovery for everyone will be ¥160,000!"

"A hundred and sixty _thousand_ yen?!" Sanada said.

"That's... Okay, that's really terrible," said Narukami.

"Do you take credit?" Okumura asked.

"Sorry, lady," Trish said, still twirling her baton with a very unapologetic smile on her face. "I'm cash only."

"I can't believe we're being extorted for money by a bondage fairy," Goro said, keeping his voice low so that only Joker could hear.

"Tell me about it," Joker replied in the same way. "I think I had a dream like this once."

Goro shot him an alarmed look as Kirishima shook her head.

"No, Haru-san, please don't pay her—"

"Hey," Trish snapped, and the riding crop snapped against the stone again as well, "are you saying your lives aren't worth ¥160,000? Do you know how dangerous the world is? Everything runs on give-and-take, so if you want to take some healing, then give me the cash! And don't tell me you don't need it; that ugly guy in the back looks like the most demotivated sucker I've ever seen!"

Trish pointed at Goro with her riding crop. Goro just barely resisted the urge to flip her off.

"Right, I forgot," Joker said before Goro could try to pluck out her wings. He started rummaging around in his pockets and pulled out a few items. "I have some Chewing Souls. You should take them."

"Woah, woah, woah," Trish shouted as Joker dropped two Chewing Souls into his hand, "don't pass around healing items in my recovery fountain! Save them for when you're in a pinch! Pay me to heal you now!"

"I have a spare Soma," Narukami said over her shrieking as Goro popped one of the Chewing Souls into his mouth. "If we get injured or lose strength during battle, I can use that on everyone."

"I have a few carrots with me as well," Okumura said. "They're from my garden, and they're packed with nutrients that will help recover your mental strength."

"I'll take a carrot," Sanada said.

"Stop talking about healing items in my healing fountain!"

Kirishima turned towards the group and made shooing motions with her hands, ushering them out of the room. To Trish, she said, "I'm so sorry, but it seems like we've got our recovery options covered. It was nice seeing you again!"

"Screw you! Fine, don't blame me when you get eaten, you cheapskates! Go out there and DIE for all I care!" 

Kirishima practically pushed them all out of the room, Joker holding the door open for everyone as they filed out. When he and Kirishima exited, the door slammed shut behind them with an ominous thud that echoed throughout the labyrinth.

"Well," Kirishima said, sounding exhausted, "that was a face I wasn't expecting to see again."

Narukami stared straight ahead with a blank expression. "That was an experience I don't think I'll ever forget."

"That's one way of putting it," Sanada said as he took one of Okumura's carrots and started eating. "Hey, these are pretty good."

Joker went over to Hayashi, who was still slumbering on the ground like a fully grown, contemptible baby. "Noir's got an amazing green thumb. I think she could grow anything if she puts her mind to it."

Okumura laughed as Joker picked up Hayashi again. "Not everything, and there's still a lot left for me to learn. I have improved much since my rooftop garden on Shujin, though!"

Goro said nothing, but that was because the Chewing Soul he was eating had glued his mouth shut. He clenched and unclenched his jaw several times, but to his dismay, the Chewing Soul wasn't, well, letting him chew.

Kirishima shook her head and wandered to the other end of the room. "Well, finding out that door led to Trish's Fountain was ultimately a good thing, because if that's the case, then it's very likely that this door—" She knocked against the other door. "—will take us to the Velvet Room."

That got their attention. 

"Really?" Joker asked. "It doesn't look like a Velvet Room door."

Kirishima shrugged. "They don't always, and it's possible that this distorted space that created this labyrinth has imposed itself on the link between here and the Velvet Room. Either way, perhaps Igor will have some guidance for us."

Kirishima pulled open the door as everyone gathered around her. What they found behind that door was another door. The second door was the familiar Velvet Room blue, but it was firmly shut, and a sign had been taped onto its plush surface. The sign was written with a childish scrawl, and the top line was in Japanese while the second line was in English.

"Under Construction," said the top line. Goro tried to read the second line out loud, but his mouth was still glued shut by the Chewing Soul.

Thankfully, Kirishima translated it for everyone, bending down to better read the text. "The second line reads, _'See you at the start of Act Six!'_ Act Six? What on earth does that mean?" She straightened and frowned, one hand on her hip and the other held at her chin. "Are they going to turn the Velvet Room into something strange again?"

Sanada stretched and rubbed the muscles on his neck. "Does that happen often?"

"Only recently," Kirishima said.

"Not really," Joker and Narukami said. The three of them stared at one another. Hayashi snored.

"Okay," Sanada said. "If you guys can't use it, then we should just keep going."

Okumura nodded. "I agree. We still don't know how much farther we have to go."

Everyone else muttered their agreement, save Goro. The Chewing Soul was dissolving slowly in his mouth, but trying to pry open his jaw was going to take a bit of work. Thankfully, no one else had noticed he wasn't saying anything, so Goro steeled himself and kept going with the group.

He heard Kirishima mutter to herself as they walked. "I was just in there last week," she said. "Don't tell me there's going to be another calamity none of us can do anything about coming up."

Michael shrugged, the action causing the light to shift and cast strange shadows on the walls. Kirishima was talking to her Persona, Goro realized. Bouncing ideas off of him like a casual conversation partner.

Weird, weird woman.

The straight shot forward didn't go for much longer before they were met with another door. This time, however, the door was at the end of the long hallway, and there was a malevolent aura emitting from it. 

Joker sighed and dropped Hayashi with less grace than he should have. Hayashi mumbled something, but did not wake, and Joker shook his head before looking at the door. "Looks like we've reached the boss."

"Let's hope it's the final boss of this place," Narukami said. "How's everyone doing? Anyone need any healing or items?"

The Chewing Soul was not dissolved enough for Goro to open his mouth. He shook his head as the others checked themselves over.

"We probably shouldn't take Hayashi with us," Okumura said, "but what should we do with him? Leave him out here?"

"We haven't run into any demons down here," Sanada said. "And even if he does wake up and wander off, where could he go? The only place other than the hallway we've been walking down is that fairy fountain."

"We can't take him with us inside, either," Narukami said. "Not if it already feels this bad just standing outside the door."

Okumura prodded Hayashi very gently with her foot. Hayashi's head leaned to the side and his mouth fell open with a snort. "He's sleeping soundly now, but there's no telling how long that will last. Could we try tying him up? That way, even if he does wake, he won't be able to go anywhere. I know there isn't anywhere for him to go, but..."

"It's better to be safe than sorry. Besides which, it wouldn't do if he woke up and decided to run into the room while we were fighting." Kirishima sighed and gathered her gown in her hands. "All right, I've got an idea. Does anyone have a knife? I can make a rope from the excess material in my dress."

Joker handed over one of his daggers. "You sure about this? That looks like a nice dress."

Kirishima began slicing the bottom half of her gown into ribbons. "It's fine. This was designed and made by one of the designers at my company. She'll be upset to see what happened to it, but it was a test run. I'm just glad," she added as she set the dagger down and started tearing the fabric, "that I didn't wear the three million yen dress that I originally picked out."

"Three million yen," Narukami said faintly.

Kirishima finished up quickly, and the others helped twist the ribbons into braids, then used them to tie up Hayashi's hands and feet. By the time they were done, her gown looked more like a simple cocktail dress, albeit one with very frayed edges.

"This will have to do," she said. Hayashi began to stir, and she quickly put him to sleep again, then cast another Dormina for safety's sake.

Narukami dusted his hands off and looked around once Michael was resummoned. "Okay, is that everything? Everyone good? Then I'm opening the door."

Narukami pulled at the handle, and the door slowly opened with a low, shuddering groan. A tension so thick that it felt almost like a physical fog came pouring out of the room right after, and Goro felt his body instinctively tense. Even with Michael hovering above them, the room was completely dark; not even the holy radiance of an archangel could penetrate the veil of black that permeated the space.

"Into the heart of the abyss," Kirishima said. "Or...into the depths of hell? The lowest levels of hell... Ah, it's on the tip of my tongue! I'm sorry, I thought I would have been able to figure it out by now."

"It's all right, Kirishima-san," Narukami said. "You've already done so much for us with Michael. For now, let's focus on whatever's waiting for us in there."

They filed in slowly and cautiously. To their dismay, the darkness was so thick that not even Michael could light up anything more than the immediate space around him. Even so, having some kind of beacon was a boon, and they huddled around Kirishima and Michael as they looked around.

Not that looking around was doing anyone any good. The darkness was complete and thorough. Goro couldn't even see his own body when he looked down.

"This darkness is so oppressive," he heard Okumura say, and even though they were all clustered together, her voice sounded like it was muffled.

Goro felt someone take his hand. Even the sensation of leather gloves against his metal gauntlets seemed muted. He entwined his fingers with Joker's, squeezed, and then cursed the stupid fucking Chewing Soul that still wasn't dissolved. He tried to look down at their joined hands, despite knowing that he wouldn't be able to see through the solid blanket of darkness that covered everything in the room.

And he was right. He couldn't see their hands. What he could see, however, was the floor undulating ever so slightly. The ground looked like it was rippling. Utterly absurd, because Goro couldn't see the ground through the pitch dark, but there was something...moving. Shifting. It almost felt like he wasn't seeing it with his eyes, but with some other sense that he couldn't place. There was no physical sensation of the ground moving, no sound of grinding stone, no smells at all—nothing. It made no logical sense, and his brain struggled to figure out how the uniform darkness managed to feel different while his jaw struggled to open. 

"There's something below us," Goro wanted to say. He ended up saying, "Mmmmm!"

He felt Joker's hand tighten around his. "Crow?"

"Something is moving beneath us," he tried to say despite not fully understanding how he knew that. "Mmmmmmph mmmmm mmm," Goro actually said. 

"Is he doing okay?" Goro heard Narukami ask. "He's not...dying or anything, is he?"

"Fuck," Goro wanted to shout. What came out was: "FFFFFFFF."

The Chewing Soul was almost dissolved enough for him to open his jaw. With his free hand, Goro grabbed his jaw and tried to pry his mouth open. He pulled Joker's hand down as he stomped on the ground, well aware that everyone probably thought he was losing his mind. 

"Wh— Crow, what's going on? Is something attacking you?" He felt Joker's hands brush against his body, patting him down. "I can't feel anything—"

With one final painful attempt, Goro wrenched his jaw open. "There's something beneath us!"

Then the ground exploded.

Goro was thrown forward, crashing into Joker in the process. Hard pieces of the shattered floor fell on top of them as they landed haphazardly, blown back by the impact. They separated and stood quickly, but the room's darkness was still absolute. They couldn't see.

At least, not normally.

"I can see everyone with my Third Eye," Joker shouted. "What is that thing— Narukami, watch out!"

Goro couldn't see anything, but he could feel out where the demon was. Whatever it was, the demon was emitting malevolent energy the same way a dumpster on a hot, humid day emitted a stench. The malevolence wafted towards him, unavoidable and overpowering, and Goro kept his eyes locked on where he thought the source was.

"Daisoujou, Samsara!" Narukami's voice sounded even more muffled and far away than before, no thanks to the group having been scattered by the explosion. In an instant, a bright cylinder of mantras appeared, illuminating the demon it surrounded for the first time.

The demon was a head adorned with a spiky red and black crown. It was pitch black, save for the red eyes and the exposed muscles that ran down in two parallel bands along the temples. The bands of muscle continued until they hit the lower half of the demon's face, which was stripped of skin and decorated with raw muscle dripping with dark colored gore.

That was not the most disturbing thing about it.

The most disturbing thing were the _teeth_. The demon had a mouthful of fangs, elongated and sharp, and they poked out of the demon's yawning cavern of a mouth in disorderly angles. If there was a cat with porcupine needles for fur, and if that cat had arched its back and hissed with its needles all fluffed, that would have been equivalent to what the demon's teeth were doing as they tried to clamp down on Narukami's prone form.

Mercifully, the light of Samsara caused it to flinch backwards, red eyes closing as its terrible maw snapped shut on stagnant air. Narukami moved backwards to make space, but he only managed a few steps before the demon threw itself back and let out a roar.

 _The_ roar.

Goro had thought it bad enough when they were on the upper level of the labyrinth, but hearing the roar with the demon right there with them was another thing entirely. The physical sensation of the sound pushed them all back, sending them to the floor and tumbling away to the sides. Nothing felt solid. Nothing felt real. For a sickly moment, Goro felt as if he had been reduced to nothing more than a soul, stripped from the meat puppet that was his body and removed from the material world that was reality. 

He couldn't tell how long it had been before he was able to come back into himself, feeling shaken and out of sorts. The absolute darkness of the room did not help matters, and it took him several long seconds to remember they were fighting.

Goro sat up, then nearly folded from the vertigo. "Where," he croaked, clutching his head and trying to blink the stygian blue in his vision away, "is it?"

Joker's response sounded like it was coming through a pool of water. "I don't know. It might have retreated back underground."

Goro looked out into the rest of the room. Once again, he could see without seeing where the demon was. The ground undulated and rippled with something he was beginning to suspect was a distortion in reality. The ripple moved, shooting for something in the distance that was away and to the left of where he was, and he called in warning.

"It's heading away from me," he shouted, uncertain if anyone on the other side of the room would have even been able to hear him with the way their voices were being suppressed. "Watch out! I think it's going to try launching another surprise attack!"

It was impossible to tell if anyone other than Joker heard him. There was just darkness, solid and seamless. If anyone had spoken, it came through as a muffled hum, practically indistinguishable from the sound of Goro's own breathing. He followed the distortion of the demon as best as he could, witnessed it stop beneath a certain point, and then:

The muffled sound of an explosion. Someone—a woman—shouting.

And then light. A knife blade of light punctured the demon from below, over and over and over again. Goro found himself rushing to the scene, using the light as a guide. The room wasn't nearly as big as he feared; he made it to Kirishima quickly enough. She was practically glowing, Michael standing shoulder to shoulder with her. She had her hands on Michael's spear, and both she and her Persona had managed to impale the demon on it through its open maw.

The demon screamed and thrashed itself around, but the spear held. In a voice that was both hers and her Persona’s, Kirishima began to speak:

"Alciel, thou cursed pit, black sun of the abyss, where is thy keeper? Raphael slacks not thy chains, yet thou ravages, beholden to a man of flesh and blood."

The demon responded by roaring. Mercifully, the spear in its mouth prevented it from roaring as effectively, although it did succeed in bringing Goro to his knees. Kirishima was forced back, and in the process, the light faded. There was just enough light for Goro to see her blink, as if waking from a dream, and then shudder before falling to her hands and knees.

A cold shiver forced itself through Goro's body, and the darkness of the room was no longer impenetrable. Michael's glow was enough to illuminate a decently sized area around him.

With a wet, gelatinous sucking sound, the demon pulled itself away from Michael's spear, black blood spewing from its wound. Rather than retreat underground again, however, it fell backwards. Its open, wounded maw was exposed to whatever passed for a ceiling, eyes rolled back in its head, voice hoarsely screaming some incomprehensible babble.

"It's down," Joker cried, and this time his voice sounded like it was muffled only through a thick blanket. 

"So's Kirishima-san," Narukami said, rushing over to her. "Are you okay? Do you need any healing?"

"I'm fine," Kirishima said. She laughed, although it was forced and shaken. "Michael hasn't taken over like that in a while."

Sanada suddenly stopped in his approach towards the demon and stared at Kirishima, eyes wide and mouth open. "Did you say that your Persona _took over_?"

"It's not a rare occurrence," Kirishima said, taking Narukami's hand and standing. "I assure you, I am fine. We need to focus on taking that thing down. I suppose it's too late to start one of those 'All-Out Attacks' you've all done before?"

"We don't have the element of surprise anymore," Okumura said, lifting her axe, "but we can take advantage of its downed state. Shall we all attack?"

"Sounds good," Joker said. "It's weak to Bless, right?"

"And it certainly seemed weak to physical," Kirishima added. "Shall we?"

Okumura barely waited for confirmation before letting out a yell and rushing the demon. She swung her axe and cleaved off a portion of its jaw, then leapt back as Sanada summoned his Persona and had him punch the demon square in the nose. The demon let out a strangled cry before righting itself, and rather than sink into the ground like Goro expected, it opened its broken, bleeding mouth.

There was a sphere in its mouth. The sphere was—not glowing. Glowing was the wrong word to describe it. Whatever it was emitting wasn't light, but it wasn't darkness either. It was something that was both, a black light. Not the sort of black light that meant ultraviolet light, or a light tinted deep purple. No, this was something that shone with darkness, yet was not darkness. It was wrong in a primal, fundamental way.

Numbly, Goro realized that darkness wasn't the opposite of light; darkness was merely the absence of light. Whatever the opposite of light was, it was being emitted by the tiny black star in the demon's mouth. Black light from a black sun.

The last piece of Ouyamatsumi's ramblings fell into place.

The black sun shone, its black light washing over them, casting them into something more complete than darkness. If the light from the sun gave way to life, the light from the black sun gave way to only death. Goro felt his strength drain from him in an instant. He went down, barely managing to prop himself upright on his elbows. Breathing was difficult. Living was difficult. Far easier to die than live in the heretical light of the black sun.

Then the demon's mouth closed, the black light faded, and it sank back beneath the ground. 

"Fuck," Goro hissed when he realized that everyone else was in the same state he was. There was no strength left in his body. He couldn't stand, no matter how hard he tried. Even his willpower had a limit.

Next to him, he heard Joker call out for a Persona with a guttural voice, and shortly after a balm of healing magic soothed all of them. Strength returned to his body, but the psychological sensation of suddenly being drained to the point of collapse remained with him. 

"What the hell was that," Sanada said as they all stood, every one of them in some state of panic. "I went from fine to fighting to stay conscious in an instant."

"I don't know," Okumura said, body heaving for breath, "but I consider it very lucky that it chose to retreat underground rather than press the attack."

"The black sun in Babylonian lore, Alciel," Kirishima muttered. "It's also known as Arsiel or Aciel, depending on the source text. A king of Gehenna, one of the levels of Hell. Haha, everything certainly is fitting together quite nicely."

Joker's eyes were glowing again, but the look on his face told Goro he wasn't pleased with what he was seeing. Or perhaps, incapable of seeing. "I don't know if this is really the time to be impressed, Kirishima-san. Crow, can you tell where it is?"

Goro had been keeping track of it since they'd all been healed. "It's circling us. Like a shark. Am I the only one who can keep track of it?"

As it turned out, he was the only one. It wasn't encouraging news; the demon moved quickly enough beneath the surface that trying to say where it was at any given time was pointless. There was no telling if hitting it with Bless spells would work when it was underground, and if Goro was the only one who could tell where it was, it meant that Goro would have to be the one to cast them to find out.

That was a problem, because he had no Persona in his current stock that possessed Bless skills. Of course, there was one Persona he could call on at any time; like Loki, it was a permanent and crucial aspect of himself. That didn't mean he had to like it, though.

"I can try hitting it with a Bless spell," he said through gritted teeth. He sounded like a petulant child even to his own ears, and he ignored the looks the others shot his way. Alciel was still circling, but now it was circling right beneath their feet. None of them had the luxury of wasting any more time.

"Oh," Joker said, although it was said so softly that it sounded more like an exhale of breath than a properly said word. "I believe in you, Crow."

"Oh, shut up," Goro muttered, then took a deep breath. "Robin Hood!"

He felt his clothes melt and change as he called upon one of his other selves. Hated as it was, the façade of the pleasant boy was still a part of himself; it was still a part of him that he instinctively turned to when among strangers, the public, or authority. He'd expended so much effort, so much time learning how to cover up the black sludge inside him. Even so, his tendencies to fake a smile to cover up his contempt, to mindlessly regurgitate pleasant-sounding lines of small talk to hide his disdain, or to pretend to be interested when all he felt was disgust weren't easy to unlearn.

It was a work in progress. He was a work in progress.

And—no matter how deeply he buried it beneath the crap and offal of his bitter, cynical heart—there was still an insignificant, infuriatingly inexhaustible part of himself that wanted to be the kind of person who could genuinely smile at strangers and say heartfelt things to make people happy.

It was not, however, the desire to make people happy that empowered the Kougaon he slung at Alciel. That spell was powered by nothing but pure, relentless, seething hate. To his utter surprise, it worked. As the light curled down and struck the ground, the wretched demon emerged from the floor and howled, flesh bubbling and splitting before peeling away. It fell backwards, letting out cries of pain, and Goro let Robin Hood fade away.

"Oh," Kirishima had said when his clothes changed. She repeated it when Alciel fell back. "Oh! Is it down? Can we now perform an All-Out Attack?"

"Oh, yeah," Sanada said. "I've been waiting for this!"

"Yes," Okumura said, hefting her axe with a fearsome glint in her eyes. "It's time to punish them!"

"I'm so thrilled," Kirishima said. "This is the first time I'll have participated!"

"Glad you could take part," Narukami said. "Let's go!"

Before he joined the others in throwing themselves at Alciel, Goro summoned Loki again just so he could be out of the damned prince outfit. He joined the others in trying to tear Alciel apart, but much to their frustration, it managed to sink back underneath the ground before they could finish it off. 

"That's annoying," Sanada muttered. "I was hoping it'd at least be too weak to go underground again. Akechi, is it still circling?"

"No," Goro said, watching the distortion in space speed away. "It's retreating."

"Can it heal itself?" Joker said, expressions flashing through his face as he went through his stock. "And is it staying put?"

Goro pointed at the corner Alciel had fled to. "It's staying put, but I have no idea if it can heal itself. Have fun."

By the dim light of Michael's passive radiation, Joker met Goro's eyes and smiled. "I will. Come, Metatron!"

As the voice of God smote his enemy with sacred light, Goro felt the bond between him and Joker flare up. A truly disgusting amount of affection flooded his body, and he couldn't help smiling at the proof of their bond decimating the corner with holy indignation. The righteous fury of God rained down like meteors at the end of days, and all Goro could do was stare and smile like a lovestruck idiot.

Disgusting. 

But nice. 

But still disgusting. 

When Alciel emerged and collapsed backwards again, it was obviously on its last legs. Neck tendons. Whichever. Even its teeth looked to be drooping.

"This will be a massacre," Goro said, and then they all rushed in for one final All-Out Attack. Alciel tried to let out one last desperate roar as they closed in, but someone managed to get it in the throat before it could. With that out of the way, it was easy for the six of them to tear the demon to pieces.

With a wet rasp, Alciel succumbed to their onslaught. The chaotic arrangement of teeth in its mouth shook as it uttered its death cry, and then the demon collapsed into a pile of rotten flesh, black ichor, and razor sharp fangs. The darkness of the room lifted entirely, and a strange, eldritch illumination filled the space instead. 

There was silence. And then everything started to shake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was Trish necessary in this story? Absolutely not. Was she fun to write? _Yes._
> 
> Anyway, have some more wacky demon facts!
> 
> Alciel/Aciel is a pain in the ass demon in terms of source. The [Megami Tensei Wiki page](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Alciel) wasn't of much help finding information outside of the games. [Eirikrjs on tumblr did a great write-up about it](https://eirikrjs.tumblr.com/post/144522239172/alciels-true-name-and-sources-have-been-found), but tracking down information for it was still a pain in the ass. It's connection with Raphael [can be found](http://occult-world.com/demons/aciel/) in some [dubious source material](https://books.google.com/books?id=kGXelGEMdWgC&pg=PA104&lpg=PA104&dq=aciel+raphael&source=bl&ots=fz4oiIJf_-&sig=ACfU3U2Xh9r6h3NlGyUwjX5no_y2cQRBgA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwix9-m-6t7mAhViiOAKHZN8C3sQ6AEwAnoECBAQAQ#v=onepage&q=aciel%20raphael&f=false) that I was ultimately not satisfied with, but then I remembered this was supposed to be crack fic.
> 
> Alciel's attack, Sol Niger, is one that reduces everyone's HP to 1. In SMT: Nocturne, it would follow it up with Spirit Drain, which was better than just wiping out your party unless you had no healing items.
> 
> Michael is based on a combination of his [Persona 1 appearance](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/8/8a/MichaelPersonaCard.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131225001241) as Eriko's ultimate Persona and [the SMT design](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/5/54/MichaelSMT2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080807184336) for him. His abilities were taken from a combination of P1 and P2, despite him not being Eriko's ult in P2. She still has Gabriel as an ult, yes. Eriko's special. Totally has nothing to do with her being one of my favorite P1/P2 characters. Nope.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had the split the finale into two chapters because it was getting too long. There's some embarrassingly saccharine stuff in here, too.

At the same time the shaking began, a burst of high-pitched static pierced through everyone's brains. Rise Kujikawa's voice came through right afterwards, although it sounded distant and tinny. "Oh, thank goodness! We finally got through! Are you guys okay?"

The room was shaking so much that most of the group had fallen to the ground and was being jittered along helplessly. Narukami, however, was still standing. He braced himself against the wall and said through gritted teeth, the pitch of his voice modulating as he shook, "It's too soon to tell, Rise. Is something the matter?"

"A lot's been happening while you guys have been in the labyrinth," Kujikawa said. There was no background noise or chatter, but the reception wasn't good and she sounded stressed and out of breath. "Some people Nanjo-san recognized showed up and managed to get into the building. There was a showdown in the ballroom with a bunch of Devil Summoners, and in the process, Hayashi Sr. got away!"

The walls began to crack. Goro, who was on one knee and trying very hard not to lose his balance, glanced at Joker. Joker was the only other person who was upright, although he looked like he was about to fall over at any second; the idiot hadn't braced himself against anything, and instead opted for widening his stance and stooping so he was lower to the ground. Joker met his look, looked at the cracks spreading down the walls, looked at Narukami, then looked back at Goro.

Kujikawa continued to give a summary of what happened, but Joker cut her off. "I know I'm interrupting, but can we hold off on the report? It's pretty bad down here."

"How bad? Crap, Yamagishi-san! I know you're trying to track down Hayashi, but I can't tell what's going on in there! Can you tell what's going on before Senpai and the others die?"

"We're not going to die," Narukami said. It sounded as convincing as a scam email. 

Yamagishi's voice flickered into their minds. The line was fuzzy, and Goro had to focus to be able to hear. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell anything about their location; it's still just a dark, empty space to me. Your signals are a lot weaker than before...are you all okay? Should I try using Oracle?"

Okumura had slammed her axe into the ground when the shaking started, and she was currently trying to stand up by using it to support herself. "We're very deep underground. I'm afraid we had to slide down in order to take down the demon here. You both aren't coming through very clearly, either."

"Also," Sanada said, fully seated on the ground, "the room we're in is shaking so hard that most of us can't stand, and now the walls are cracking. This place is breaking down."

"We really ought to run for it," Kirishima said, sprawled out on the floor in a graceful heap as Michael floated above her. "It might be time to let our Personas carry us out."

"Not a bad idea," Sanada said. "Narukami, Amamiya, Akechi, do any of you have any Personas that could potentially carry multiple people?"

Goro barely started thinking about his current stock when Joker answered. "I do, but... Well, it's not exactly decent."

"If you summon Mara again," Goro hissed at him, "I will stab you in the dick."

"We'd both lose if that was the case," Joker muttered.

"Wow, guys," Kujikawa said, "you really have no sense of time and place, do you?"

"I am going to prohibit the summoning of that Persona," Okumura said with absolute calm, rising to her feet even as her body shook. "Please do not, Joker. I will not allow it."

Narukami dared to take a furtive step away from the walls. "You also have Mara, Amamiya? I have it, too."

"Senpai!" Kujikawa shouted over the comm line, static and noise interference crackling in their brains from her volume and poor connection. "Why are guys like this?"

Kirishima had once again clambered into her Persona's arms, holding onto Michael as she gazed out over the others with an expression that displayed far more serenity than Goro thought the situation deserved. "While I normally encourage discussions and comparisons about the various Personae we possess, this really isn't the time. I'm afraid all of my Persona are—how should I put this—single passenger only?" 

"Right, sorry," Narukami said. "I got distracted by Mara, but I do have something that can carry all of us." He took a deep breath. "I haven't ever summoned a Persona for the purpose of carrying people out, though, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to maintain it."

"Sure or not," Sanada said, grunting as he tried to get onto his feet, "trying is better than staying here."

Narukami nodded and without another word, called forth a large, golden dragon. Its loosely coiled body took up most of the room, and the pale golden light it emitted helped soothe a tension that Goro hadn't even been aware he had. The unsettling light that had flooded the room after Alciel's defeat was noticed, but not dwelled upon; they were all too glad to be able to see to question it, and then the shaking had begun. Now, however, in the golden, sunny glow of the dragon's body, Goro realized how on edge and high-strung he had been solely because of the light. Like the light of the black sun Alciel had conjured, the light that suffused the room was equally foreboding. This was not a place meant for human beings to dwell.

Scrambling onto Kohryu was harder than it should have been, what with the shaking, but they all managed. Kirishima decided to stay with her own Persona, and they all emerged from the chamber, Narukami at the front, Sanada behind him, Okumura behind him, and then Goro and Joker at the rear.

Kohryu had barely stuck its head through the doors when it stopped. "Ah," they heard Narukami say, "Hayashi's awake."

There was the sound of muffled whimpering.

Goro couldn't see Hayashi, what with being second to last on Kohryu's long body, but he could hear perfectly well what Narukami was communicating to Kujikawa and the rest of the group. Hayashi was still bound, was being shaken around with the labyrinth's own quaking, and quite possibly may have wet himself from fear. In the end, Narukami elected to have Kohryu grab Hayashi with a talon. They continued on, Hayashi's muffled whimpering having been upgraded to full on muffled screaming, and then ran immediately into their next problem.

The bottom of the labyrinth was no longer a straight shot. It wasn't a single path anymore, either. Whatever complexity that did not exist on their way in decided to settle in during their fight, and now there were multiple branching paths for them to take, with more twists and turns than a poorly executed mystery novel.

They all spent a few seconds staring at the changed labyrinth in muddled silence. Sanada was the one who broke it. "Hey, Fuuka, are you sure you can't see anything down here?"

"I'm positive. It's all just pitch black darkness to me," she responded. There was a pause, and then hesitantly: "How bad is it down there?"

"It's not the same as when we went down. This place used to be just one long hallway, but now it's just as much of a maze as it is on top."

"We might be able to break through," Okumura said. "Let's try smashing a few walls. As long as the general position of the way out is the same, then that should be all right."

"I'm sorry," Yamagishi said. "I really can't see anything in the center of the labyrinth or below it. I wish I could be of more use."

"Don't worry about it, Fuuka," Sanada said. "Keep doing what you can; we'll take care of things down here as best as we can."

"Yeah, there's three Wild Cards here," Narukami said as he patted Kohryu's head. "We'll be fine. Come on, Kohryu. Let's knock down a few walls."

The walls fell with one ram from Kohryu's head. Hayashi shrieked through his gag when it fell, and Goro was hoping that Kirishima would put him to sleep again when the shaking finally ended. Unfortunately, before any of them could remark on it, the labyrinth suddenly _changed_. Before their eyes, the walls and passageways shifted without moving, and the twists and branches of the labyrinth faded out of existence before reappearing in a different configuration. There was not so much a lurch in Goro's stomach as there was a lurch in his mind as the space around him twisted and phased, and it was amplified when he realized that Kohryu's long body was being folded up into impossible angles in an attempt to keep up with the change in their physical space.

Not even Personas, he suspected, were supposed to fold in on themselves like that. 

In a flash, Narukami dismissed his Persona, and they all, minus Kirishima, dropped down to the ground. The shifting was still ongoing, and Goro experienced the nauseating sensation of somehow watching himself from two different points, body stretched out in a way that should have killed him or at least caused him impossible amounts of pain, but didn't. He didn't feel anything.

When it ended, their configuration had completely changed. Goro was now in the front, Joker in the middle with Narukami, and Kirishima floating distantly in the back, still in Michael's hold. Sanada and Okumura were nowhere to be seen, but a quick knock coming from one of the walls followed by their voices cleared that up soon enough.

Hayashi, meanwhile, was flailing on the ground several feet away from Goro, in a side passage. He was still screaming.

"Hey, is everyone okay?" Sanada's voice said through the wall that separated him and Okumura from the others. 

"Yeah," Joker said, voice breaking. He cleared his throat, and then added, "What was that?"

Yamagishi made a quiet, "Oh," over the comm line. "Um, I'm not sure what happened, but for a few moments, I could see the center of the labyrinth. Nothing below it, unfortunately, but I could at least make out what was there. I have some bad news, though..."

Sanada sighed. "Out with it, Fuuka."

"Well, Thor isn't anywhere to be found in the labyrinth above, so he's probably down there with you."

The sudden surge of bloodlust from Loki caused Goro to curl his gauntlets into the ground, cutting grooves into them. He bit his tongue and tried to calm down, but the urge to fight was so, so strong.

"But! If he's the last strong demon in the labyrinth, it's possible that defeating him will eliminate the labyrinth as well."

"Will that be safe for us?" Okumura asked. "Shouldn't we find an escape route first?"

"I...don't know, but I could ask. Um, Rise-chan? Is Mitsuru-san still speaking with the overseer of the Kuzunoha clan?"

"Yep," Kujikawa said. "If you guys want to ask them, we're going to have to re-open all the comm lines, though. It's gonna be hectic."

"The Kuzunohas are here?" Kirishima muttered as she floated towards Goro, Joker and Narukami trailing after her. "That's to be expected, but a little worrying."

"Who?" Joker asked, and Kirishima shook her head. 

"I can explain later. For now, I think it would be good to ask them if they're here."

"Okay," Kujikawa said. "Reconnecting to Kirijo-san, Fuuka-san!"

The noise that flooded their brains was overwhelming, not helped by the fact that the connection was still poor with invading bursts of static. Still, they could hear Mitsuru Kirijo's commanding voice come to a halt with enough clarity to understand that she was not thrilled about being interrupted.

"Hey, Mitsuru," Sanada asked. "You talking with the Kuzunohas still?"

Kirijo sighed. "Yes, Akihiko. I'm assuming that nothing too catastrophic has happened if you're being this lax?"

"Depends. We've got a question. Mind putting them on?"

There was a moment of silence from Kirijo, during which time someone—probably Yamagishi—was subtly messing with the volume of the input from the raucous background chatter. By the time Kirijo came back on the line, it was almost bearable.

"Everyone, this is Madame Ginko, the overseer of the Kuzunoha Clan."

The voice that greeted them was smooth and deep. Something about the timbre reminded Goro of Kirijo, except Ginko's voice was far, far deeper and older than hers. "Greetings, Persona users. I understand that you were the ones who volunteered to take down the demons within the spirit labyrinth. Please, accept my sincerest thanks for dealing with this task."

"No, no, it was our duty," Kirishima said, voice gushing with open admiration. "The research the Dark Summoners were after was based on research gathered from Persona users. This was the least we could do. But to think that the overseer of the Kuzunoha clan herself would appear to assist us...! Oh, this is wonderful! I've been meaning to meet you for so long!"

"Eriko, calm yourself," Nanjo muttered through the comm line. "Madame Ginko is a very busy woman."

"I have time enough to speak with those who are dealing with demons in the heart of their territory. Now, what was your question?"

"Oh, yes," Kirishima said. Her tone of voice was all business, but a quick glance at her showed Goro she was still starry eyed. "If we defeat the last demon within this spirit labyrinth, will we be in any danger should the labyrinth collapse?"

"Hmm," Ginko said. "No, you should not be, although it is possible that you will end up somewhere inconvenient. Every location within the spirit labyrinth has an equivalent inside the building. If you are indeed below ground, then you should manifest somewhere in the basement once the labyrinth is destroyed."

"Wait," Goro said. "Does this building have a basement?"

"We can find out," Nanjo said. "I can do so right now. Give me a moment."

"Either way," Ginko continued, "one of our own is in the labyrinth as we speak, heading towards where you all are. If nothing else, she will help you all return safely to us. Now, are there any other questions?"

"Just one," Sanada said. "You wouldn't happen to know if it's safe to smash through the walls here, would you? Last one we broke caused the entire thing to warp and separate us."

"I'm afraid those specifics are beyond me," Ginko said. "If you are uncertain, I suggest you wait for Geirin. Any other questions?"

Kirishima opened her mouth, shut it again, and then opened it again. "Not at the moment, but...if you happen to have some free time later, could I possibly pick your brain about a few things? I'm an amateur occultist, you see, and—"

Nanjo sighed. "Eriko, 'Wasting time is stealing from oneself.' You need not steal Madame Ginko's time as well."

Madame Ginko sounded amused. "It's all right. I don't mind."

"Unfortunately," Kirijo said, "there are matters we ought to attend to. Everyone, remain safe. I have been reassured that Geirin Kuzunoha is more than capable of handling whatever threat may still lurk in the labyrinth, so if conditions worsen, remain put. Now, Madame Ginko, I think we should continue our conversation about those Dark Summoners."

With that, Kirijo's end of the comm line cut out, and much of the background noise with it.

There was a muted burst of interference, then Kujikawa came back on the line. "Fuuka-san's helping out that Kuzunoha get down to where you guys are. I've got some time to kill, but...I don't know how much help I'll be, honestly."

"You've been working hard, Rise," Narukami said, walking over to the wall that divided them from Sanada and Okumura. "Don't push yourself too much."

"Pfft, I could keep going all night, Senpai. Seriously though, are you guys okay?"

"We're all right, for the moment," Okumura said. There was the sound of something hitting the wall. "I'm sorry, but I think we should try knocking this wall down."

"You sure, Noir?" Joker said. He stuck his hands in his pockets and stared down the wall. "What if it just causes everything to shift again?"

"Being held back by fear won't get us anywhere," Sanada said. "Worse comes to worst, we'll have to regroup the long way. Besides, if Thor's down here, maybe he'll get annoyed enough at us hacking away at his hard work and attack. Then we'll be out of this place for good."

 _'Yes. Good. Destroy him,'_ Loki said from the depths of Goro's soul. He hissed in response and stepped away from the others, plastering himself to a corner before sinking gauntlets into the wall, leaving claw marks on the surface of the stone.

"And to be honest," Okumura said, "I really want to destroy something right now. So if no one minds, I'm going to break down this wall."

"That makes two of us," Goro muttered, and of course Joker heard. He met Joker's eyes and smiled. It showed all of his teeth.

"Crow," he heard Joker say at the same time Okumura let out a battle cry. Narukami jumped back from the wall as her axe broke through. 

"Okumura, geeze," Sanada said. "You've got a lot of pent-up energy, don't you?"

 _'Blood, blood, blood,_ ' chanted Loki. It should have been disturbing, but Loki was skimming too close to the surface of his heart for Goro to care. It felt like, Goro realized, he was about to be berserked. That should have worried him. It didn't.

Okumura slammed her axe down on the wall again. It crumbled.

 _'Fight him. Destroy him!'_ Loki cried.

One of the walls at the corner Goro was standing in shook. A crack ran down it, the fractal splintering down like lightning. Goro stared at it, blood roaring in his ears, and then watched as it broke apart. 

A solid, giant fist then burst through the wall and punched him in the face.

 _'Murder him!'_ Loki cried.

"Gkkk," said Goro as he was thrown back by the punch.

"Crow!" Joker yelled as Goro slammed against a wall.

"Thor!" Sanada shouted as Goro crumpled into a pile of pain on the ground.

 _'Kill,'_ said Loki.

Red flooded his vision. All coherent thought flew from his mind.

"You stupid, stinking, _son of a bitch_ ," Goro roared. His face was in pain. His mask might have been broken. It didn't matter. He stood up and ran towards Thor, fury powering every cell in his body. "I should have never covered for you in Jotunheim and just let Thrym murder you!"

There were people shouting in the background. Their voices were muffled. Dim. Unimportant. Thor was standing before him, bits of rubble on his thick, tree trunk limbs. What a fool. What a bastard. All muscle. All brawn. All foolish nobility and hypocritical hedonism. Who was it that had to lie and cheat and steal and kill for the sake of others' glory? Who was it that had to lay down and be reduced to nothing more than a symbol of evil because the world had gotten obsessed with shallow black and white morality? Who was it that was condemned and twisted and hated and forced to endure the slow drip of both literal and metaphorical poison as the old stories were forgotten and then cobbled together by sanctimonious fools with a pious mission? Who? Who? _WHO?_

Dimly, Goro Akechi became aware that he was not Goro Akechi anymore.

Something was restraining him. A foolish child of Askr and Embla. Or was he a child of Lif and Lifthrasir? No, the world hadn't burned yet. Or had it? No, it hadn't. It needed to. Ragnarok had to come. The world had to be destroyed and remade. That was why he was chosen. Hand picked by fate to reduce the world to rubble.

"Crow," the fool restraining him shouted. "Someone help me out here! I can barely hold him back!"

"Release me," he hissed. "I'm going to kill him!"

"I'll take care of it, Joker," someone else said. A woman. Foolish. Unworthy. Absolutely worthless compared to Sigyn— 

Something hit him hard against the face. Goro blinked and saw Haru Okumura staring at him, hand raised like she had just slapped him. "Oh," he said.

And then he passed out.

-

Goro woke to the sensation of pain. The right side of his face pulsated with a dull, powerful ache. His mask, he realized, was gone, and the top half of his helmet had been carefully removed. Goro groaned as he touched the side of his face.

"Careful. It's not healed yet."

Goro opened his eyes and found Joker staring down at him. His mask was gone, but there was a Persona floating above him, surrounding the two of them in a healing light. With nothing obstructing his face, the tenderness in Joker's expression was easy to read. 

Goro willed himself not to flush, but the tension in his jaw caused him to wince. His face was so fucking sore.

"What happened," he asked as the memories prior to his blackout flooded in. Thor. That's right, Thor had punched him, and then Loki— 

"Easy," Joker muttered. He pushed Goro back down as Goro struggled to get up, and it was then that Goro realized that he'd been laying on Joker's lap. "They're taking care of it. Noir's, uh, having a good time beating up You-Know-Who."

Goro closed his eyes again and could hear, in the distance, Thor wailing in pain as Noir used Psiodyne on it. He grinned, then remembered that she had also hit him, and that she hadn't held back.

"That's fair," he muttered, and then he felt Joker's thumb running down the side of his face that didn't get punched. He gently caressed Goro's cheek in soft, soothing motions, and Goro let himself indulge for just a moment.

There was the sound of something heavy like a tree trunk falling to the ground, then Narukami giving the command for an All-Out Attack. 

"Hey," Joker said as Goro basked in the sounds of gratuitous violence, "before they wrap this up, are you okay? Not just physically, but... You know. Kirishima-san said you got possessed by your Persona."

"I did," Goro said, keeping his eyes closed. There was the sound of an explosion, followed by Sanada shouting in disbelief that Thor still wasn't defeated. "It felt like when I berserked myself to fight you."

Joker's thumb stuttered in its motion. Just for a moment, but it was all Goro needed to open his eyes and meet Joker's gaze. There was not, to his relief, any fear in Joker's face, but there was concern. Too much of it. It made Goro itch beneath his skin.

"But you didn't," Joker said. "Not intentionally."

"No."

Joker said nothing for two breaths, then he sighed and leaned down, kissing the top of Goro's head and then remaining there. "That sounds like a problem," he said into Goro's hair.

"Kirishima made it sound like it was a common phenomenon."

"Kirishima's weird," Joker whined, and Goro let out a snort of laughter. "Seriously. She's not a bad person, but she's definitely..."

"A freak?"

"You said it, not me." Joker exhaled and then lifted his head up. He smirked. "You know, I can see you turning into someone like her when you're in your forties."

Goro sputtered at him. "What?"

"Not as in you're going to be like her in personality, but rather in the sense that you'll both be strange."

"Excuse me," Goro said coldly, "but I don't want to hear this from a kleptomaniac."

"I'm not a kleptomaniac."

"You're a thief."

"I haven't stolen anything in a long time. In fact, I'm pretty sure the last thing I actually stole was your heart."

Fucker. Even blushing made Goro's face hurt more, but Joker was looking down on him with a beatific smile on his face like he thought he'd done a good job. Well, two could play at that game. With the sweetest smile Goro could conjure despite his injuries, he looked Joker in the eyes and said, "Oh? Well then, maybe you should give me a kiss to make up for it."

Joker's smile waned. "You know I can't do that when you've got that knife of a chin guard on."

Goro tsked. "I see. So the thief steals my heart but can't be bothered to even return my affection."

"You're the biggest asshole in the world," Joker said affectionately, then leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Doesn't count," Goro said, but he still closed his eyes and preened. The ground was hard and cold, half of his face was in pain, he was exhausted and tired, but at that moment in time, things were pretty all right. Good, even.

An explosion shook the labyrinth, and Joker lifted his head up with a sigh. "Looks like they're finishing up. We should meet them before they defeat Thor and this place turns into a black hole."

"Don't jinx us," Goro said. With Joker's help, he got up, legs frustratingly wobbly. After handing Goro back his mask, Joker wrapped an arm around his waist. Goro let him bear his weight. He was tired. He'd been punched in the face by a god. He was ready to end the night and sleep.

When they made it over, Thor was also in the midst of dissolving into plumes of black, tar-like smoke. A smug sense of satisfaction settled in Goro's gut, even though he had played no part in the battle. It felt good to watch Thor vanish into nothing.

Those good feelings only lasted for a moment, though. As the other four caught their breaths, Goro looked around their immediate area.

"Wait," he said, "where is Hayashi?"

Everyone froze. Then, like a rubber band that was stretched to its limit, the labyrinth snapped.

There was no way to describe it other than the entire labyrinth contracting on itself. Not a collapse, not a distortion. Contraction. Everything shrank: the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the distance between them— The space of the entire labyrinth itself narrowed and tightened and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed and _squeezed_ — 

People yelled as they were forced closer together, bodies colliding and pushing on one another as what seemed like the entire lower level of the labyrinth suddenly compacted itself into a space not meant to hold six people. Someone's elbow was digging itself into the side of Goro's face that had not been injured. Goro was stepping on at least one of Joker's feet, and the two of them were pressed together in a way that would have been obscene if not for the fact that everyone else was adhered that closely to each other. Someone's foot was incredibly, impossibly lodged against Goro's left shoulder. He didn't know whose hand was on his ass, but he hoped it was only Joker's.

And then, like a balloon popping, his, Joker's, and Okumura's thief outfits vanished. The surreal background radiation of a place in between dimensions disappeared. They were back in reality.

Reality, as it turned out, was a janitorial utility closet.

"Who is touching my chest," Okumura said with a voice so chilly that it could have frozen lava.

"Oh! Um, er," said Kirishima. There was some shoving, and then a few bottles of cleaning solution fell from a shelf and managed to hit almost everyone on their way down. "My sincerest apologies, Haru-san. I was trying to rearrange myself in a more comfortable position, but. Hmm." More shoving. "Please tell me that someone has found a door."

"I think I found a doorknob, but my arms are trapped," Narukami said, and his words were a bit slurred, as if his face was smashed against a wall and he couldn't move his tongue properly. "Is there any chance that I can get a little more space and open it?"

"There's no more space here," Ren said despairingly. "Trust me."

"Okay," Narukami said. "I'm just...going to wiggle a bit. Sorry, everyone."

The lack of space meant that Narukami's wiggling caused a chain reaction of wiggling to occur. Six people wiggled as one horrifying, terrible mass of flesh and limbs and humiliation. Ren was plastered to Goro's back, and a useless, degenerate part of Goro's brain pointed out that if the two of them were to be wiggling so close to each other, it would have been a lot better if the other four people in the room weren't there.

"Fuck," Goro whispered, then a particularly violent wiggle almost sent him face first into another god damn fist.

Sanada sounded like he was on the verge of a breakdown. "Sorry, Akechi. Narukami, please tell me you've got a grip on the doorknob."

"I'm actually trying to turn it with my arms," Narukami said. "I really can't lift my hands up. I think— Wait. Maybe... Got it!"

As it turned out, human bodies behaved the same way that solvent particles did, moving from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration. Because of this, the door—not being semi-permeable and instead being very solid—did not open so much as it erupted. Six bodies came tumbling out of the doorway in a manner that clowns would have envied. 

Throughout this ordeal, Ren kept his arms around Goro and did not let go. That turned out to be a wonderful thing, because Goro's beaten up face landed on Ren's idiotic wool waistcoat instead of the hard, damp floor. It still hurt like hell, but it would have hurt more if Ren hadn't been there to catch his fall. 

The six of them laid on the ground in various states of pain before Kirishima raised an arm up.

"Gabriel," she said, sounding so despondent that Goro almost didn't realize it was her speaking at first, "Mediarahan, please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madame Ginko is not an OC, having appeared in both Devil Summoner and Soul Hackers, but she doesn't have a lot of characterization going on, so much of that I made up. She also has some strange contradictions going on between the two games, going from a nightclub owner that knew Kyouji to...the overseer of the Kuzunoha clan? Okay? ~~Devil Summoner wasn't exactly good on plot or characterization, so whatever, I guess...~~
> 
> Anyway, ~~Demon~~ Mythology Facts!
> 
> Thrym/Thrymr/Þrymr was a [jötunn](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B6tunn) king. He most famously featured in [the story where he manages to steal Mjölnir](https://www.pitt.edu/~dash/thrym.html), and then demands to marry Freyja if Thor wants it back. Loki devises a plan where Thor will crossdress, pretend to be Freyja, get close to Thrym, and then take his hammer back and kill Thrym with it. Unfortunately, Thor is really fucking bad at pretending to be Freyja, so Loki spends the evening making up excuses as to why "Freyja" is not acting like herself.
> 
> The rant Loki gives about being reduced to a symbol of evil is based on the historical phenomenon of Christian missionaries transcribing down "pagan" stories from non-Christian/Abrahamic cultures, oftentimes preserving them to written record for the first time since their conception. However, due to bias, the truth of these previously oral traditions became warped, falling more in line with Christian/Abrahamic morals of good and evil. (Not to hate on Snorri Sturluson, but he transcribed, wrote, and rewrote the Poetic Edda and Prose Edda based on his very solidly Christian worldview. His interpretation of these mostly oral stories make up the bulk of what we know about Norse Mythology today.)
> 
> Sigyn is Loki's wife. Loki's punishment for his treachery was to have the venom of a snake drip onto his face, causing him great pain. Sigyn would hold a bowl over Loki's face, preventing the poison from reaching him, but once the bowl was full, she had to leave and dispose of the venom.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Thanks for sticking with me. This chapter: Sap, banter, Kuzunohas everywhere, fluff, and food.

The healing did nothing for their exhaustion, but it wasn't unwelcome. As it turned out, the building did have a basement. While the basement was dingy, it wasn't unused or abandoned; making their way back up to the ground floor was easy enough to do. But the six of them barely managed to collect their bearings afterwards before a flurry of noise hit them. With the labyrinth disappearing, Yamagishi opened up the comm lines to everyone, and the chaos of having everyone speaking at the same time made it difficult for Goro to actually figure out what the hell was going on. 

Parsing and tuning out the myriad conversations was difficult enough, but then their troubles grew when an old woman calling herself Geirin Kuzunoha the XLI showed up, along with a few others claiming to be part of the Kuzunoha clan. Geirin was polite enough, but she tried to simultaneously ask them questions while corralling them to the second floor. Goro—whose entire head was pounding—found himself too irritable to pretend to play nice. 

Which was why when Ren suddenly pulled him away from the group and into an unused room, he was too relieved to question it.

The room was empty of people, but not devoid of furniture. There were chairs and tables, all covered with cloth to keep the dust at bay. Goro tossed one of the covers aside and sat down on a plush lounge chair, groaning as he sank into the velvet-lined cushions while trying to tune out the comm line chatter. 

Ren locked the door and, after a moment's pause, pushed a chair in front of it as well. "Okay. Kujikawa-san, if you could?"

"You two owe me so much," Kujikawa said, and then the comm lines went silent. "I'm serious about the couple's counseling, by the way."

"We'll think about it," Ren said in a way that told Goro he had already decided to never consider it. "Thank you. Let us know what we can do for you."

Kujikawa huffed. "If I get into trouble, it's your guys' fault. Don't do anything stupid!"

There was the sensation of something disconnecting from Goro's brain, and then silence settled in. Not absolute silence, like how it was in the deepest parts of the spirit labyrinth, but a simple, pedestrian silence. Human silence. Normal silence. 

He and Ren stared at each other.

Ren broke away first, moving away from the door and towards Goro, eyes gazing down towards the ground. "I wanted to surprise you," he said, stopping before a chair and ripping the cover off. "I thought it'd be romantic for us to lock eyes in the middle of a crowd when you weren't expecting me to be there."

Goro closed his eyes and leaned back. "In that outfit?"

"It was last minute," Ren said. Goro heard him flop into the chair, then shift around to get more comfortable. "Everything was done last minute. Haru didn't even approach me about it until this afternoon, and that was only because Makoto had to back out at the last moment due to some last minute crisis at her university."

"That's nice," Goro said flatly. 

Ren waited a few seconds, which was enough to drive him to some sort of anxiety, because Goro could hear his fingers tapping against the arms of the chair. "I wasn't briefed on the mission the way that you were."

"Making excuses now?"

" _No_. I'm explaining." Ren groaned in frustration. "I wouldn't have come if it wasn't for you and Haru. I know this is getting close to topics you both have agreed to move past, but you know she used to be engaged to a total scumbag, right?"

"I'm aware," Goro muttered, the pounding of his head now nearly intolerable.

"His family has a lot of political ties. Haru never met any of them, but they know who she is."

"They were here tonight."

"They should have been. They were on the guest list. Haru didn't want to bring in any of the other Shadow Operatives into her personal affairs, so she asked me to fill in for Makoto. The plan was to escort Haru around for a while, flirt with you across the room, and then deal with whatever needed dealing with later."

"That's not a plan; that's barely an outline."

"Last minute, remember? I was really hoping you'd be happy to see me, but then Hayashi happened."

Goro grimaced, and it wasn't just from the pain. "Ah. Hayashi."

He heard Ren get up. Ren's heels clicked steadily on the hardwood floor as he approached, then fell silent once Ren stood at his feet. Goro's eyes slowly opened, and he watched as Ren braced himself on the chair arms, bracketing Goro with his body. Then, Ren lowered himself inch by inch until he was on his knees, body pushed up against Goro's legs. He maintained eye contact the entire time, and once Ren made sure Goro wasn't going to look away, he took hold of Goro's hands and brought them to his lips.

"Provocative position," Goro murmured as Ren kissed his knuckles. "Is this supposed to be an apology?"

"I'm not done explaining myself," Ren said before gently uncurling Goro's fingers and kissing each fingertip. Once he was done, he exhaled and looked Goro in the eye. His grip on Goro's hands loosened, and Goro moved one hand to Ren's hair. He massaged Ren's scalp and felt a thrum of satisfaction watching Ren's eyes narrow in pleasure.

"Well?" Goro asked, using his other hand to entwine his fingers with Ren's. "Keep going."

Ren rolled his eyes. "Well, I had no idea who Hayashi was, but he made himself known readily enough. I might have spaced out five minutes into his monologue, but eventually, I saw you in the distance. You looked radiant, by the way. You still do. The suit you're wearing is tailored, isn't it? It fits you so well; white looks good on you."

Goro gripped Ren's hair. Not enough to hurt, but enough to get him to stop talking. "Flattery isn't an explanation, nor will it make me less upset."

"It's necessary to make you understand how starry-eyed I was. Hayashi certainly noticed it, and he actually stopped talking long enough to try and figure out who I was looking at."

Goro closed his eyes again. He saw white rather than darkness. That was probably bad. "That's when you passed him to me?"

"Not quite," Ren said before bracing his chin on Goro's knees. Goro could feel the vibrations in his legs when Ren spoke. "Haru knew who he was because she introduced us, but she managed to slip away while I was zoning out. Between that and getting distracted by you, I had no idea where she was. Hayashi asked me what I was staring at, and because I was trying to figure out where Haru went, I slipped up and...told him who you were."

"And you also," Goro said as he tried to ignore the fact that the pain was spreading down his neck, "told him I was interested in his business policies, did you?"

"I said that you might be more interested in them than I would be. He's the one that misconstrued it. I also didn't expect him to talk your ear off for so long. I thought you'd be able to parry him in conversation with your wit and cunning."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere." Goro chanced opening his eyes, and although the room wasn't bright, the lights that were on made him flinch. "I think you also overestimate my social abilities. I can only steer a conversation where I want it to go if the other participant is willing to listen. Kenji Hayashi is not a listener. He talks. Endlessly. His voice is grating, his affectations are unbearable, and having to learn that you were here from that bloated egomaniac made me feel like an afterthought. That," Goro said, pulling both of his hands away from Ren, "was beyond upsetting."

Ren stood. "You aren't an afterthought, Goro."

"I know that," Goro said. "Logically, I know it. Emotionally, however? Hearing from someone else that you were here as Haru Okumura's date during the first mission that I was allowed to go on without someone breathing down my neck to make sure I wouldn't do anything suspicious? Hearing from someone else that you were here after you had previously expressed absolutely no interest in joining this mission?" Goro closed his eyes again and wondered if it was normal to be feeling both numb and in pain at the same time. "I'm more than aware of my numerous negative personality traits, but that doesn't mean I can simply stop being jealous or feeling neglected."

"Goro..."

Goro's head was splitting apart. He took his hands and placed them gently over his face. "Sometimes I truly hate how much you can affect me."

There was a moment of silence before Ren took a deep, shuddering breath and spoke.

"I feel like I'm so far behind that I can't catch up."

That was enough to get Goro to drop his hands and open his eyes again, even though doing so made his head feel like it was going to explode. "What?"

Ren wasn't looking at him. "You've been here for four years. Haru and Makoto have been working with the Shadow Operatives for over two years in secret." He smiled bitterly at the covered up table in the corner. "I wouldn't have ever willingly stepped into any of this if someone didn't use himself as bait and then shoved me into a limo with Mitsuru Kirijo and a robot."

"No regrets," Goro muttered.

Ren looked at him. "None from me, either. But I'm fresh meat. It's been barely six months. I still feel like I don't understand anything. I've spent most of the past four years trying to be normal and going to university, but you've been training, getting stronger, learning more about our powers and—" Ren suddenly stopped and pressed his lips together. Goro watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed. He spoke the next words very slowly. "I feel like there's a gap between us, and I'm frustrated because I'm scared that I won't be able to keep up."

Goro stared at him. Then he laughed.

Laughing hurt. It shook his body, shook his head, made the pain and the numbness and the tingling spread and spread and spread. His laughter grew hysterical, partly from the pain and partly from the sheer absurdity of the situation. Ren? Thinking he wouldn't be able to keep up?

"Y-you," Goro wheezed as he clutched his head, trying to keep it still even as his body convulsed from laughter, "utter _idiot_. Did you think that back then, when we first met, a part of me wasn't completely revolted by you for the exact same reason?"

"What?"

Goro threw back his head and practically howled with laughter. Searing white pain shot into his vision, and he closed his eyes. "I was so _jealous of you_ ," Goro said, sinking his nails into his skin as he tried to distract himself from the pain. "You went from practically nothing to someone who stood with me as an equal, and then you went and surpassed me. You infuriated me. I wanted to hate you. I couldn't hate you. That made me want to hate you more. You—" Goro groaned. His head was. His entire head just _was_ , and that was unbearable. "—pissed me off so much. You surpassed me within a year, when it took me my entire life to get to that point. I... I—"

"Goro," Joker said, and then he was gently prying Goro's hands away from his face. "What's wrong?"

Everything hurt so much. "I think," he said slowly, "Kirishima's Mediarahan is wearing off. I don't know if I feel pain or nothing at all."

Ren's sudden inhale was so fast that it sounded like a hiss. "Okay. Not good. I'll go get someone."

Goro felt Ren move away, followed by the scraping of furniture against the wood floor. "Don't," he said, reaching out and gingerly opening his eyes while trying not to wince at how much seeing hurt. "I'm coming with you."

"Goro, you look like you can barely—" Ren cut himself off as Goro sat up and then leaned his arms on his knees, head bowed. It felt like his brains were leaking out of his ears.

"I'm fine," Goro lied. "I'm not fine. God, please tell me I don't have some sort of traumatic brain injury."

"I'm not qualified to tell you that," Ren said. Despite the pain taking over most of his thought processes, Goro could still tell that Ren was trying to hide his nervousness. "We should get you to someone who can, though. I'm going to carry you."

"I'm not an invalid," Goro muttered, then he tried to get up. And then he tried to get up again. "I could still use a hand."

Ren went down on one knee and placed a hand on Goro's shoulder. "You can have both my hands. And my arms, shoulders, legs, whatever else you need. Come on, let's get you out of here and to someone who can help you."

With Ren's help, he managed to stand. Goro found that he could walk, so long as his head was carefully held against the crook of Ren's neck. He refused to be carried, despite Ren's attempts at carrying him, and the two of them slowly shuffled over to the door. It took Ren a moment to open it, thanks to Goro essentially being dead weight against his body, but he managed, and they left the room.

They barely took two small steps down the hall before Iori found them.

"Oh, hey, there you...guys...are... Uh."

Goro very reluctantly opened his eyes as Ren froze and said, "This isn't what it looks like."

"Uh...huh. Right."

"It really isn't," Ren said.

Goro looked down. There wasn't really any other place he could look without moving his head, which he refused to do. Ren's clothes were slightly rumpled. There was a layer of dust on his knees from kneeling earlier. Goro felt his blood freeze as he realized that Ren's hair was probably incredibly disheveled, and that Goro himself was a boneless pile of flesh that was nuzzling into Ren's neck.

"Oh, no," Goro muttered, and he closed his eyes again.

"Listen," Ren said, "it's not what you think. I had to take care of Goro—"

"No, no, no," Iori said quickly. "You don't have to explain anything. Please don't explain. I, uh, I get it."

"No, you don't."

"Good for you guys, though! Uh, ya know. I get it. The post-battle rush. Sometimes you gotta burn off that energy—"

"Junpei-san."

"And, uh. I guess as long as you guys are being safe—"

" _Junpei-san_ ," Ren said through gritted teeth, voice commanding. Goro probably shouldn't have found it so appealing, but he went easy on himself; there was the possibility he had traumatic brain damage. "I need to get him to either a doctor, or to someone who can heal him. Where is everyone?"

Iori fell silent for a moment. "Oh. Oh, damn. Is he— Yeah, follow me!"

"Thank you," Ren said, then scooped Goro up in his arms without warning.

"Not an invalid," Goro said again, but he didn't struggle or otherwise try to escape.

"I know, but this is faster," Ren muttered. To Junpei, he said: "All right, lead the way."

They followed Junpei down the hall, up some stairs, and then into a room on the second floor. There were plenty of people to gawk and stare at them along the way, but Goro was too wiped out and in pain to care. 

The room they entered was a dining room of some sort, with a large dining table that could have easily seated dozens. Instead, only a handful of people were sitting at one end of the table. There was Kirijo, Nanjo, and the woman calling herself Geirin Kuzunoha. Some of Kuzunoha's lackeys were standing attentively at her side. 

"I brought them," Iori said, standing tall and giving a poor salute. "Although it seems like Akechi's in need of some medical attention..."

Both Kirijo and Nanjo stood up at that proclamation, but Geirin remained seated. From Goro's position in Ren's arms, he couldn't make out her expression, but there was something about her posture that seemed almost amused.

"Bring the lad here," Nanjo said, pulling out a chair. "Is he conscious?"

"I am not an invalid," Goro said again despite evidence to the contrary. Ren gently set him down in one of the chairs, and Goro groaned as he was suddenly forced to support his own head. 

"I heard about him getting hit by Thor," Kirijo said, "but from what others have said, it didn't sound like this severe of an injury. He could be concussed."

"Or maybe he has some sort of traumatic brain damage?" Ren asked. Both Nanjo and Kirijo gave him alarmed looks, and Goro weakly whacked Ren on the arm.

"Allow me," Nanjo said once he recovered. "I can try healing him with my Persona, but then we ought to move him to a hospital—"

Geirin Kuzunoha cleared her throat. "Actually," she said, "would you permit me to treat him?"

Her voice was not loud, yet it was clear and authoritative. The question was said neutrally, yet there was the sense that rejecting her request was, frankly, not within the realm of possibility. 

Even so, through Goro's blurry, half whited-out vision, he saw both Nanjo and Kirijo look at her with no small amount of distrust.

"Please," Geirin said. "While I do not doubt in your Persona's abilities, my healing powers are something I take a great deal of pride in. Besides that," she added, giving them all a smile that caused the wrinkles on her face to crinkle together, "I would like to prove our sincerity in forming an alliance."

Kirijo and Nanjo both remained silent for a second. Then, Kirijo turned to Goro. "Akechi," she said, voice soft, "what would you like to do?"

He was in too much pain to figure out just exactly what was going on. A power play of some sort, obviously, but he didn't have enough information to tell what sort or for why. He just wanted the pain to stop. "If she can heal me," he said, devoting more of his mental resources than he actually had to sounding relatively human, "then she can do so."

Ren gently placed a hand on Goro's shoulder, but said nothing.

"Well, then," Geirin said, getting up from her seat at the table, "allow me."

Ren did not move away from Goro's side when she approached, nor did he ever take his hand off Goro's shoulder. Nanjo moved aside to give space for Geirin to work, but he hovered close by. Kirijo remained standing, arms crossed, and watched with sharp, piercing eyes.

Geirin knelt down so that she and Goro were eye-to-eye with one another. "I will have to touch your face," she said to him, looking over his head with a stern expression. "Will that be all right?"

"Do what you must," Goro said. Geirin nodded, very gently touched his bruised cheek, and then breathed out.

As it turned out, healing magic from an actual person was completely different from healing from a Persona. Healing in the Metaverse felt more like a hit of adrenaline; it worked since most wounds proved to be less severe in reality. Healing from a Persona in the real world was a strange, uncanny sensation of the body and mind mutually agreeing to reject the reality of being injured, opting to patch up any wounds with a combination of magic and determination. It worked well enough, but as Goro had experienced, it wasn't a cure-all. Healing from a Persona in a spirit labyrinth lay neatly in between the two experiences.

Healing magic from a human being, on the other hand, felt like actual magic. Goro could feel the spell working underneath his skin, patching up his bruised flesh, easing away his pain, working itself into his sore muscles. The white edges of his vision faded along with most of the pain in his head, and he blinked owlishly at Geirin as he suddenly felt alert and clear-headed for the first time since he had left the damned labyrinth.

"Oh," he said once she stepped back. Then a rush of hunger nearly caused him to fall over. The only reason he didn't actually fall out of the chair was because Ren held tight to his shoulder, pulling him back so he was leaning against Ren's body. 

"Goro," Ren asked, and there was a tone of worry to his voice that Goro found he liked. "What's wrong?"

"I'm starving," Goro admitted sheepishly as Nanjo and Kirijo looked at Geirin with the fury of two CEOs. "I'm feeling fine, otherwise."

"It's a side effect of the spell," Geirin said, calm and sedate as if she wasn't currently being stared down by three powerful Persona users. "My healing magic works by amplifying and accelerating the natural processes. It's a more thorough sort of healing, but there's a limit to what it can do. Your body's resources, young man, are depleted. You ought to go and replenish them. Food, water, and rest will do you a world of good."

"Food and water we can supply," Kirijo said. "Iori, please go fetch some from the ballroom; there should still be plenty left at the bar and buffet."

Iori gave Kirijo a salute. "Aye aye, Captain," he said, and Kirijo sighed.

"Hold," Geirin said as Iori was about to turn and leave. "Why not just take the boy with you? A single plate of food will not be enough sustenance." She looked Goro in the eye and gave him a wry grin. "I speak from experience. Do not feel any shame in eating more than you have ever eaten before."

"Unfortunately," Nanjo said, "we need to ask them to give us a report on what happened tonight. The sooner that is done, the sooner we can send them home to rest."

Geirin clicked her tongue. "Nonsense. There's two of them here. Send the boy to eat, and let the other one speak. Go along," she said to Goro as Kirijo and Nanjo stared at Geirin in disbelief. "You can give your report in the morning. The other young man should more than suffice for now."

"Geirin Kuzunoha," Nanjo said, one hand on his chin and giving her a look of cold disdain, "this is not your operation, and this young lad is not one of your clan's subordinates. If you truly wish to cooperate with us, you cannot order around _our_ operatives."

Geirin appeared utterly immune to Nanjo's glare. She chuckled and brushed a single stray gray hair out of her face. "Forgive me," she said. "Old habits die hard, I suppose. Well, then? Give the order, Nanjo-san."

Her utter audacity sent Nanjo into silence. Despite his reservations, Goro suddenly found he liked Geirin Kuzunoha more than he thought he would.

"I am not one of your subordinates to order around," Nanjo said, voice and glare nearing absolute zero levels of frigid. "If the Kuzunoha clan wishes to form a partnership with us, then we all must act as equals. I do not accept you acting as our superior, and your behavior reflects poorly on your clan."

"Your behavior reflects poorly on you," Geirin countered. There was a glint of pure steel in her eyes as she spoke. "The young man will feel further backlash from the healing as time passes. It is imperative that he gets food, water, and rest as quickly as possible. If you value your subordinates only as sources of information, or pawns to be used on a board, then this partnership may not work out as we had hoped. We of the Kuzunoha clan believe that actions are what determines the character and value of a person; not the oily syrup of words from businessmen."

If not for the fact that Goro was starving, he would have found the stand off between Nanjo and Geirin to be incredible entertainment. However, his body's sudden, desperate need for sustenance overrode all sense of amusement, and he tried not to show his desperation too badly as his stomach clenched on itself.

"Akechi," Kirijo said after a tense beat, "go with Iori and get some food. Take as much time as you need."

"Thank you," Goro said, rushing to stand and then nearly toppling over again. Only Ren's hands bracing his back kept him upright.

"Iori, please help Akechi get there safely," Kirijo said, then turned to Geirin. "Our operatives do work under us, but they are neither tools nor pawns. You do us a disservice with your assumptions."

Geirin suddenly broke out into a pleased, hearty chuckle. "Oh, perhaps there is hope for the youth of this country after all," she said. 

"I would prefer it," Kirijo said coldly, "if you would refrain from trying to bait us into further conflict. It makes me further question your intentions."

"Oookay," Iori stage whispered to Goro. "Maybe we should get out of here before Mitsuru-san decides to execute someone."

It was a shame, because the show was good, but Goro needed food. "Of course," he said to Iori. To Ren, who still had his hands on Goro's shoulders, he muttered, "Good luck."

"I'll need it," Ren muttered back, then gave Goro's shoulders a squeeze before passing him to Iori. 

They managed to get back to the ballroom without Iori having to resort to carrying Goro down the stairs. A good thing, because when they finally made it over to the buffet, what little of Goro's dignity that remained was promptly thrown out when he ignored the greetings from the small group of Shadow Operatives there in favor of stuffing nearly an entire mini-quiche into his mouth in one go.

"He got himself patched up, but a side effect of that is being really hungry," Iori explained. Goro, meanwhile, was trying not to moan around the mouthful of quiche and lose all respect from the people there for good.

"Good for you," Narukami said, holding a half full plate of various hors d'oeuvres. "The catering is really delicious."

"I am going to dream about these steak bites for the rest of my life," Satonaka moaned. "Yu, what do I have to do to convince you to learn how to make these?"

Narukami picked up one of the steak bites in question and gave it a thorough look over. "Honestly, I don't know if I could make them without getting some really expensive equipment."

Satonaka let out a disappointed groan. "Maybe I could get the recipe from a caterer and see if Aiya can recreate it..."

"I believe all the caterers have left a while ago," Shirogane said, their plate heaped with roasted veggies, exotic fruits, and a piece of carved dark chocolate that looked inexplicably like a swan. "You may be able to ask who the company is, however, and try reaching out to them that way."

"Forget the steak," Kujikawa said, handing Goro a plate with a single chocolate tart on it. "Try this, Akechi-kun. The chocolate is so smooth and smokey, and they even managed to incorporate ghost peppers into the filling!"

Goro, like a fool, had already lifted the tart halfway to his mouth. Upon hearing Kujikawa's words, he quickly set it down.

"I think I'll save dessert for last," he said mildly. After a moment's consideration, he removed the tart from the plate entirely, setting it down on the buffet table, before loading up his plate with as much as it could hold.

"Junpei-san," Shirogane said as Goro loaded up on assorted cuts of meat and fish, "what sort of healing left him with a side effect of hunger?"

"Oh," Junpei said around a mouthful of puff pastry, "something Geirin Kuzunoha did. She cast a healing spell on him and it took Akechi here from zero to, uh, a positive number?"

"Did you say that Geirin cast a healing spell?" Narukami asked. "Not with a demon?"

"Nah. She went up to Akechi, touched him, there were a couple of mystical lights, and bam! Almost as good as new." Iori chewed, swallowed, then looked around at the flabbergasted expressions on the others' faces. "Uh, what's wrong? Is that— Is that weird?"

"Um, yeah," Satonaka said. "She can use magic? Like, real magic? That's a big deal! That's the first time I heard about a human being using magic before!"

Iori scratched his head. "I mean, I guess, but I kinda figured that's not weird. Look at us, man! We're all Persona users, and we've fought Shadows and now demons with our Personas! How's that so different from someone using magic?"

"You have a point, Junpei-san," Shirogane said. "Though we are used to the limitations and abilities of Personas, to those stumbling upon the phenomenon for the first time, there is little difference between that and magic. That's why we have such a tenuous relationship with Public Safety and the government. It is all merely a matter of perspective."

"Plus most of the older Persona users can summon their Personas in the real world, and they can use multiple Personas like Senpai," Kujikawa said, picking up the discarded chocolate tart and putting it on a plate. "I thought that was pretty magical when I first learned about it."

Their conversation continued, and Goro tuned them out in favor of eating. He was stuffing forkfuls of food into his mouth with a ferocity and velocity that he found mortifying, but his body's call for calories superseded everything. A shame, because the food was delicious, yet he couldn't savor it at the speed he was eating. Still, each mouthful of food made him feel like he was inching towards normalcy. Soon enough, his entire plate was devoured, and Goro went back for round two. Now merely only hungry as opposed to starving, he picked smaller portions of a larger variety of things, including a few more of the quiche he first had.

"You polished off that first plate like it was nothing," Narukami said when Goro wandered back to the group. He sounded impressed rather than disgusted, but Goro couldn't help but feel ashamed of his humiliating display of hunger. "I bet you'd be able to take on the Rainy Day Special Mega Beef Bowl Challenge."

Satonaka groaned. "Don't talk about the Beef Bowl Challenge, Yu. I don't know how I'm gonna be able to eat that again after eating steak this good."

Narukami, Shirogane, and Kujikawa all turned and stared at her. Satonaka went red. "W-what? I'm serious! I won't be able to eat there again for at least three weeks!"

"Phew," Kujikawa said with all the exaggeration of someone used to being in front of a camera. "For a moment I thought there was something seriously wrong with you, Chie."

"Oh, come on, guys," Satonaka grumbled. "I'm more than just a fan of meat."

"Wassat supposed to be," Iori said around a mouthful of grilled scallops. "Some kind of hometown specialty?"

"The Rainy Day Special Mega Beef Bowl Challenge," Narukami said, face expressionless and voice perfectly deadpan, "is a portal to the Meat Dimension."

Shirogane, Kujikawa, and Satonaka all sighed in unison. Iori gave Narukami a confused look. "Huh? What?"

While maintaining the same stoic expression, Narukami began to speak. Unlike his face, his voice became increasingly emotional and fired up. "You must have Understanding of your limits," he began. Kujikawa picked up the still uneaten chocolate tart and, to Goro's horror, dunked it into a bowl of something that looked too red to be safe to eat. 

Narukami was oblivious to her actions. He continued on, voice increasing in fervor. "Knowledge to control your pace, Courage to face the unrelenting tide of beef, and the Diligence to—"

"Senpai," Kujikawa said sweetly. She held up the chocolate tart, which was dripping red sauce onto the ground as if it were bleeding. "I know you love saying that, but if you finish, I'm going to shove this honey habanero sauce covered ghost pepper chocolate tart into your mouth and make you eat it."

Narukami wisely snapped his mouth shut.

"Good boy," Kujikawa chirped. And then, because things could not get horrifying enough, she took a bite of the spicy chocolate abomination.

If Goro were by any means religious, he would have considered that a crime against God.

"A-anyway," Iori said after a few seconds of everyone staring at Kujikawa happily eating in terrified silence, "is that just a big bowl of beef?"

"It's an eating challenge," Shirogane said, watching Kujikawa eat with a look of fear on their face. "In forty minutes, you have to finish a quintuple sized bowl of beef and, presumably, the rice underneath it."

"I saw the rice once," Satonaka said. "It definitely exists."

"I finished it a couple of times," Narukami said, voice back to deadpan. "The rice makes for a nice palate cleanser after taking a trip to the Meat Dimension."

Goro bit down on a quiche at the same time a certain someone said, "What's this about a Meat Dimension?"

Ren sauntered up to the group, hands in his coat pockets.

"Hey, dude," Iori said. "Survived the interrogation?"

Ren shrugged. "Yeah." He smirked. "Better than others I've been through; no one drugged me or beat me up, and no one tried to assassinate me after."

Goro nearly choked on the quiche. Everyone else gave Ren an alarmed look. He brushed them off, however, and turned to Goro. He opened his mouth, noticed Goro struggling not to suffocate, and then his smug expression morphed into one of concern.

"Goro? Do you need water?"

Goro nodded through tear-filled eyes, and then there was a momentary mad scramble for someone to get him a glass of water. 

By the time Goro had downed the water and made sure he wasn't going to die disgracefully from an egg tart, Ren had taken his plate of food with one hand and was rubbing soothing circles into Goro's back with the other. Goro cleared his throat, face red from both embarrassment and a lack of air, and then gingerly set the empty glass on the buffet table. Everyone else was kind enough to not look at him, and he took a moment to compose himself before taking the plate back. Ren handed it back to Goro, then used his newly freed hand to steal a smoked salmon canapé and pop it into his mouth.

"Thank you," Goro said, frowning at how hoarse his voice was. "How did the report go?"

Ren took his time chewing before swallowing. "We never did see that Jack Frost again, did we?"

Goro stared at him as it sunk in. "It took Hayashi."

Everyone else was now tuning in to their conversation. "That's what Kuzunoha thinks," Ren said. "She wasn't happy about us letting it wander off to train and get stronger, but at least she didn't yell. Disappointed-grandmother-voice isn't necessary better, though."

Goro sighed. And then, in the absence of anything else he could do, ate a stuffed shell.

Ren looked at his plate. "That's more food than I think I've ever seen you with. You can eat all that?"

"He already ate a plate that was heaped with a lot more stuff than that," Satonaka said. Goro chewed angrily and tried not to glare at her. "It was really impressive!"

Ren gave Goro an appraising look. "You know, maybe I should take you with me the next time I try the Big Bang Burger Challenge."

Goro swallowed, then gave Ren his fakest, sweetest smile. "Honestly, I would rather eat Morgana's cat food."

"It's not that bad."

"Dude," Iori said, cutting into the conversation without a bit of remorse, "I've seen people attempt to eat that thing. It's pretty bad. That burger's way too big; no human being is meant to have that much processed food."

"It's not that big," Ren said. "I've finished it loads of times. I've even eaten the Cosmic Tower."

Everyone except Narukami and Goro was looking at Ren with similar expressions of concern. 

"The Mega Beef Bowl Challenge is bigger," Narukami said.

"How much bigger?"

"A lot. I've finished the Cosmic Tower as well—" 

"Of course you did," Kujikawa said.

"—and I definitely feel worse after finishing the Mega Beef Bowl. The protein in the beef bowl fills you up better than the food-byproduct in the burger. Although, speaking of bigger, Amamiya, I want to ask you something about Mara."

Everyone except Ren groaned, including Goro. Kujikawa and Satonaka actually went as far as to whack Narukami on the arm.

"Ow," Narukami said, absolutely deadpan. "What? I have a legitimate question."

"Mara," Iori muttered, looking lost in thought. "Wait. _Wait._ W-wait a minute, I remember that! Our leader had it, too. That was the giant di—"

"Yes," Shirogane said loudly. They coughed and then said in a more acceptable volume: "All of us present know what it looks like."

"Aw, man," Iori said, slumping over. "I managed to forget all about it! Why'd you have to bring it up again?" He suddenly stood straight, eyes widening. "Don't tell me that you've got it, Yu."

Narukami nodded. Iori looked at Ren. Ren nodded. Iori then looked at Goro.

"I have," Goro said cooly, "far too much self-respect to even consider it."

Ren did a very poor job of trying to turn his laughter into a cough. Goro scowled at him before eating a stuffed shitake. 

"Anyway," Narukami said slowly, inching away from Kujikawa and Satonaka, "Amamiya, when you have Mara equipped, do you," he made a hand motion that looked like a shadow puppet of a bird flying into a wall, "you know."

Ren's expression lit up in understanding. "Ah. Yeah."

"And...the thing?"

"Yeah," Ren said. He reached up and started twirling a lock of his hair. "Do you start trying to do...that?"

Narukami let out a breath of relief. "I thought I was the only one."

Satonaka looked back and forth between the two. "Uh... What are you guys talking about?"

"I doubt we want to know," Shirogane muttered. They set down their plate and rubbed their forehead. "It may be best to leave them and let them have their coded conversation in peace."

"It's nothing bad," Narukami said. "It's just...Wildcard stuff?"

For some reason, people were looking at Goro. "I have no idea what they are talking about," he said. "For that matter, I don't want to know."

Ren nudged him with his elbow. "You sure? Personally, I'd love to see your Mar— Nnngh."

Goro smiled at him and ground his heel into Ren's toes. "I'm so sorry, Ren," he said brightly. "I'm afraid I'm still feeling rather weak and uncoordinated."

"Please," Kujikawa said, "I'm begging the two of you. Go. To. Couples! Counseling!"

Goro took his foot off of Ren's and gave him a smug smile. Ren winced and looked down at his foot.

"You're so me-hee-n, ho," Ren said, voice pitched an octave higher than usual. Goro stared at him.

"Uh, what?" Iori asked. 

Narukami shook his head sadly. "ME KNOW RELATIONSHIP HARD... SYMPATHIZE."

"Y-Yu?" Shirogane said. "Are you feeling all right?"

Goro gave Ren and Narukami dirty looks. Without thinking, he said:

"YooUUUu TwO NoOoT FuNnnYYYY—"

And then he dropped the plate of food and clamped both hands over his mouth. 

"I knew it!" Ren said, lifting his head to look at Goro with a gleam of triumph in his eyes.

Goro glared at him with all the indignation he could muster, although he knew the effect was lessened from how red his face was. The bruised part of his face, which had been mostly fine since Geirin healed him, started to throb.

"Interesting," Narukami said mildly. "Didn't expect that type for you."

"Trust me," Ren said, smirking at Goro, "it fits him."

"I will crush you," Goro hissed through his fingers. 

Satonaka threw her arms up in exasperation. "Could the Wildcards _please_ remember that there are a bunch of us here who don't have any idea what's going on?"

"I hear yelling," Katsuya Suou said, suddenly appearing before them. "Is everything all right?" He blinked, then looked at the ground. "Why is there a plate of food on the floor?"

Goro shifted his hands so that they covered his entire face instead of just his mouth.

"Just a little accident," Ren said. "Nothing to worry about."

Goro couldn't see Suou anymore, but Suou's voice was dripping with doubt. "Right... Of course. Are all of you just standing around and eating?"

"It's good food," Iori said as Goro dropped his hands from his face. "Come on, Suou-san! Have some!"

Suou huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at the dessert display. "I'll pass. Have you seen the quality of these pastries? I know they used frozen puff pastry, which is shameful. How could they call themselves true patissiers if they can't spend two or three days making it from scratch? They're supposed to be professionals! And this crème moulée... The texture feels like it's been thickened with," Suou shuddered, "artifical thickeners. Don't get me started on the fruit tarts! The syrup is far too sweet, and I wouldn't be surprised if it came out of a can— Are those prosciutto-wrapped scallops?"

Everyone had fallen silent when Suou began his rant, and they looked at the tray of prosciutto-wrapped scallops in that same silence when he stopped. 

"Yeah," Kujikawa said after a beat. "Filled with a truffle stuffing."

"I love truffles," Suou said quietly. 

"You should have some," Kujikawa said, injecting an overdose of cheer into her voice. "Have a lot, in fact."

The conflict was plain on Suou's face. "I...shouldn't. I'm actually here to let you know that we're ready to leave."

"Take it with you," Satonaka said, walking over to the tray of steak bites and lifting it up without an ounce of shame. "I mean, it's better than letting the food go to waste."

"I'm claiming the desserts!" Iori shouted. "Sorry, Suou-san. I know you're a fancy baker man—"

"Patissier."

"—but I don't get to eat like this very often." 

Goro watched as Narukami and Kujikawa also started loading up trays. As his second plate of food was on the ground, he gave in to peer pressure and also started loading up a tray. After a moment's pause, he also began loading up Ren's tray.

"That hungry, huh," Ren said. Goro smiled and dropped a pile of grilled lamb skewers onto his tray.

In the end, Suou did end up taking the tray of scallops with him. They stepped out of the ballroom in a single file line, each of them balancing their food in their arms. Apparently, it had begun to rain while they were indoors, and various Shadow Operatives and Kuzunoha clan members were milling about, passing out umbrellas and ponchos.

"Maybe we should've looked for take-out boxes or something," Satonaka muttered.

Suou sighed in despair, then made a rather loud squeaking noise. "M-Mitsuru-san! Kuzunoha-san!"

As one, the group looked ahead. There, holding a dripping umbrella and looking utterly unimpressed by what she saw, was Mitsuru Kirijo. Next to her were two others.

The woman next to Kirijo was extremely tall. Her hair was mostly gray, although streaks of black ran through it. It was tied back in a dramatic and severe looking ponytail, and she wore an elegant and immaculate white suit with a black long coat draped over her shoulders. One of her legs, Goro noticed, was in a cast, and she was leaning on a crutch held beneath her coat. Everything about her screamed experience and age, yet her face was surprisingly youthful. She smiled, and there was hardly a single wrinkle. 

The second individual was perfectly androgynous, more so than even Shirogane. Their black hair was braided back, and the braid ran down to their hip. Their hair was soaking wet, just like the rest of them, but it still somehow remained frizzy. They were dressed in a simple black suit, an umbrella and the other crutch held loosely in their arms. 

Kirijo and the woman, Goro noticed, were completely dry.

"Everyone," Kirijo said dryly, "this is Madame Ginko, overseer for the Kuzunoha clan."

The tall woman gave a slight bow. "Greetings, Shadow Operatives," she said, her deep voice filling the space of the hall they were in with ease. "From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all for your hard work."

There was a chorus of sheepish introductions. Goro wished he hadn't given in to taking food with him.

"The hard work of the exploration team in the Spirit Labyrinth has given us some key information," Ginko said. "Unfortunately, we were unable to track down Hayashi or his son. Rest assured, however, that the Kuzunoha clan will handle it from here; you have already done more than enough for us."

"It was no problem at all, Madame Ginko," Narukami said, managing to sound esteemed despite the fact that he was carrying a tray of pasta in his arms. 

"We ought to continue, Madame Ginko," Kirijo said. "Nanjo is waiting for us still."

Ginko nodded. The three moved past them, Kirijo leading the way with raised eyebrows as she stared down every person and their food in the group when she passed by. 

Ginko did the same, but her expression was amused and benevolent, nodding and thanking each of them in turn.

Until she got to Goro.

She started off with a smile and a thanks, but stopped when she saw him. In an instant, he saw her face grow calculating, and she stared at Goro with a look that felt like it was piercing down to his soul.

"Madame," the Kuzunoha said, "what is the—"

They saw Goro, and just like Ginko, they stopped and stared. There was a faint smile on their face, but it became static and lost the edges of authenticity when they began to actually, earnestly look at Goro.

Goro cleared his throat. "Is...something wrong?"

Madame Ginko grinned. The third individual's smile became stiff.

"Your name," Ginko asked. "Could you tell me once more?"

It felt like a trap, but under the intense gaze of the two Kuzunohas and the watchful eyes of the other Shadow Operatives, Goro had no choice but to answer. "Akechi. Goro Akechi."

"Goro Akechi," the unknown Kuzunoha muttered to themselves. Their smile grew wider, and there was suddenly a hint of mischief to it that Goro despised.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Goro Akechi," Ginko said. "You were the one that Geirin healed, correct? You have taken very well to it; better than most civilians would. I'm glad."

There was a hidden message there, but Goro lacked the knowledge to make sense of it. He tensed, uncertain of what was happening.

"Madame Ginko," Kirijo said, and there was a note of warning in her voice that Goro was appreciative of. "We really do need to get going."

"Of course," Ginko said, and then she turned and walked away, smiling at Ren and giving him her thanks. As Ren was the last in line, she followed after Kirijo, moving surprisingly quickly despite the cast.

The Kuzunoha, however, stayed behind. Their smile had changed. Their eyes crinkled into crescents, and the angle of their mouth was insincere. Goro was intimately familiar with that smile; he had given that smile to countless others before. 

The Kuzunoha smiled like they were desperately trying to make sure no one else could tell what they were feeling.

"Raidou," Ginko called from the end of the hall. "We'll leave you behind at this rate."

As quickly as a flash of lightning, the fake smile dropped from Raidou Kuzunoha's face. They stumbled backwards when Ginko called out, umbrella and crutch jostling in their arms, and then looked down towards the end of the hall.

"Madame," they cried, "why are you using the stairs? They have an elevator!" They adjusted the items and then took off in a sprint after Kirijo and Ginko. "At least use both crutches! Your leg is still broken! Madame! _Madame!_ "

When Raidou left, Goro let out a breath of relief.

"What was that about," Ren asked. Goro met his eyes. "Do you know them?"

"That was my first time meeting either of them."

Ren frowned. 

Whatever that conversation was leading to, however, was cut short by the appearance of Sanada, Okumura, and Kirishima.

"There you guys are," Sanada said. "Where have you been? Are you guys hauling out the entire buffet?"

"Not the entire thing," Satonaka said sheepishly. "Just most of it."

"At least put it in some take-out boxes," Sanada said. "You know we have a bunch in the kitchen area, right?"

No one responded. Sanada sighed.

"Come on, I'll take you all there."

"Perhaps you ought to let Akechi-kun and Amamiya-kun go ahead to the limo," Kirishima said. She beamed at Goro and moved to take his tray. "You've had a particularly rough night."

"Thank you," Goro said sincerely. Okumura moved to take Ren's tray, and Goro saw Suou pass his own to Sanada. 

"I'll chaperone them," Suou said. "I can already tell these two will need it."

"Our ride's just out front," Ren said innocently. "What kind of trouble could we get into?"

Suou gave them both a look. "Come on," he said. "Let's get you both back home."

They got to the entrance of the building without any incidents. There was a stretch limo waiting for them on the street. The hour was late. The downpour was falling in a nearly solid sheet. The smell of pollution and cigarette smoke wafted in from the open door. The sound of rain and distant traffic felt surreal to Goro after a night spent primarily in a demon's lair.

There were two windows next to the door. Large, floor-to-ceiling units veiled by sheer white curtains. One of them was open, letting in the smell of rain and a faint breeze. The curtains fluttered around it, and Goro remembered thinking about throwing Ren out of a window in the labyrinth.

He did not possess enough strength to attempt it now.

"Ren," he said quietly, reaching out to grab Ren's hand before Ren could walk away. "I want to ask you for a favor."

Ren turned and looked at him. Goro loved the way Ren looked at him; there was no pressure, no threat, no hidden intent and meaning like the way the Kuzunohas stared. Ren looked at Goro like he mattered. Like he was important. Like he was cared for.

"Yeah?" Ren asked, taking a step towards Goro. Behind Ren, Goro saw Suou look back at the two of them. He shook his head, sighed, and then headed out, grabbing an umbrella from a Shadow Operative along the way. 

Ren ran his thumb along the back of Goro's hand. "What is it?"

Goro gave in to temptation and let himself be soft. He smiled at Ren, knowing it was going to be soppy and starry-eyed. He didn't care. "Ren," he breathed. "Ren."

Ren took another step closer and grabbed Goro's other hand. They were close enough to feel each other's breath. "Goro."

"Ren," Goro whispered, drawing in close so that their lips were almost touching. "I want you to throw yourself out of that window for me."

Ren froze. Goro leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"What," Ren said.

"I've been thinking about it," Goro said dreamily, "since you summoned Mara for the first time."

There was a pause. "You have such weird kinks," Ren whispered. 

"Please defenestrate yourself for me."

Ren sighed and pulled back, but there was a twinkle in his eye. "The things I do for you. All right. Should I throw myself out stylishly, or do you want me to go out like you've just picked me up and tossed me out?"

"I trust you; do what feels right."

Ren smirked. "Flashy it is."

He took a running start and then leaped out of the window, incorporating a combination flip and twirl that shouldn't have worked in the Metaverse, nevermind reality. Goro followed sedately behind him as various people shouted in surprise. Suou was yelling. Ren ignored them and turned back, giving Goro a smile that made Goro's heart skip a beat. 

"How's that?" Ren asked as someone shoved an umbrella in his hands.

"Perfect," Goro said, standing at the edge of the window frame.

Ren popped open the umbrella and held it over the frame. He extended a hand through the window and reached out for Goro.

"Well then," he said, Joker's smile plastered on his face, "shall we?"

Goro closed his eyes and laughed. He took Ren's hand and let himself be pulled past the ledge and into Ren's waiting arms.

"Let's go home," he muttered into Ren's shoulder, heedless of the people around them. 

Ren kissed the top of Goro's head. "Yeah. Let's go home."

The first annual Kirijo-Nanjo Bridging The Future Foundation Gala was a sham. But this—the night, the rain, Ren, Goro's feelings—was not.

They stepped into the limo and began the journey towards tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **UPDATE** : !! Ray ([@pavosreal](https://twitter.com/pavosreal)) on Twitter drew [absolutely amazing fanart](https://twitter.com/pavosreal/status/1223789571030188032) for this fic! Please go look at it, then heap praise on them for this excellent art. Thank you!


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